mizarchivist: (Angst Queens)
[personal profile] mizarchivist
I got my second session with Stephanie at the doctor's office on stress management. My first session is documented from 2 weeks ago. I've been doing a pretty good job integrating the first bit of homework

  • Puff ball prize seems to be working. I've adapted the original idea slightly. The every day jar is smallish jam size (1 1/4 cups?), which is a bit over a week to fill. About 2, I think? He's lost a lot of puffs, so hard to say. From there, we will empty that into a quart size, hopefully month-ish. There will be another prize when that gets filled. When the quart is filled, it goes into the gallon (ish) size, which is the year. The ultimate goal is going to Hawaii! He can "earn" his way to the tropical paradise. We'll see how it plays out, but so far the collective familial opinion is that this is a good system.

  • Focusing on effective over right

  • Being careful not to capitulate (subset of previous point)- so, if I'm saying NO that remains no.

  • Have been doing the Headspace-lead meditation. I actually started it over again after comleting the 10 day course yesterday (I was not hitting it on weekends, but hey, some is better than none)

  • Kid has provided some thoughts on rewards for good behavior. Our beach trip Sunday will be his first, as he filled the "week" sized jar

  • The "say it once" has been the hardest, I think. The kid can argue like woah. I will keep on it.

This week was dealing with cognitive distortions. This is a concept that I've delved into in the past. I know that [livejournal.com profile] lifecollage and I have discussed these brain weasels on more than one occasion. I've dealt with it with my niece, Laura, too. So, being reminded I fall prey to the weasels, too, and I can do something about it:

  • Notice I'm doing it

  • Stop and check in with myself what's triggered this

  • Answer the inquiries made above (ex: Would I say this to someone I love? ...No, of course not." Or, "What are my options? How would I like to respond?... " <- and answering that)

  • Relax and distract: go for a walk, meditate, focus on something else.

I had been working on dealing with this before Stephanie and I even met. I found that the walk wasn't quite enough, that when I was able to really focus on a task that I enjoyed or at least felt very competant to complete, that it was miraculous.
This was a great session. I walked in feeling very frustrated and left feeling like I had real tools to get on with what I needed to do. I'm interested in talking offline with people on all this, if it comes up, by the way. Or in comments!
Date: 2016-06-30 10:36 pm (UTC)

drwex: (Default)
From: [personal profile] drwex
This is great progress, congrats. We always found that sticking with the systems for a long enough time was a challenge.
Date: 2016-07-01 11:06 pm (UTC)

From: [identity profile] lifecollage.livejournal.com
That sounds like a hell of a session - huzzah, and I'm so glad it's giving you more tools to work with.

Also, I'd like to suggest a reward for the month jar, if he's down with it: a day of climbing with Aunt Jenn. I'm comfortable enough with my own climbing again, and I get guest passes with my membership, so we can do a thing. :)

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