mizarchivist: (Rosie)
In light of ongoing conversations about what to to about GamerGate, I've had more thoughts. Like in many big and uncomfortable conversations about various Isms, it's exceptionally easy to fall into an Us and Them camp. They're monsters. Trolls. Gorillas... something other than evolved and evolving human. I am not the first or the last to take the time to point out that dehumanizing and Them-ing is a fantastic way to perpetuate what's broken. The "them" get a free pass because they can't help it, can't possibly be reasoned with, change, find empathy, so why bother? ...
It's easy to go there. Just about the whole society is built around going there. Popular culture/movies/books they are all about big, dramatic stories with obvious villains and heroes. "News" outlets (ones that go ringading ding ding gering a ding ding, for example) will manufacture ways to make it us and them. In the heat of the moment, living with instant gratification of the internet? Sure, it's easy as hell to go there. So let's be subversive and not make that the first stop on the hyperbole train. Keep subverting that dominant paradigm.
Because let me tell you how we are all evolving. None of us are exempt from those moments of- not thinking something through, not comprehending the consequences of actions or attitudes. Let me tell you how I want to craw under a rock and never come out when I look back at how wholly ignorant I was about, say, being trans. But more than just that, on sexism and misogyny. On racism. (I could go on) I'm mortified by what I used to be. I would like to believe that I am a generally good person who is trying to do right by my community and myself. And I am grateful for the opportunity to NOT be that person I was 10 years ago. Or even 5 years ago. I'm grateful that my friends are willing to nudge (or bonk) me towards a more enlightened path. And I know I have room to learn more, I'm not remotely done. I realize not everyone will have the good intentions I believe myself to have. Or have the willingness to change. But when we start believing they are a Them and incapable of change, we're humped. And so are the younger set who have to keep cleaning up the messes we have been making on this earth.
Jul. 14th, 2014 04:07 pm

My 2 cents

mizarchivist: (Kitty Jedi Mind Trick)
The BoS/Judah situation has eaten my brain a great deal over the last few days, even before I came back from vacation. It's complicated and messy. I have a lot of thoughts, most of which I probably will not commit to public electrons right now. But I can scarcely do anything else while I'm so monopolized. I hope at least writing this much will help. [edit: it took an hour to write this...]
So, with that in mind...

  1. I moved to Boston in 1997. I was welcomed with open arms at a Beginning of Summer party in 1998 and have gone to at least one of that family's parties every year since, if not more than one.

  2. However, I go less frequently. Why? Because I don't like crowds. So Hot Foods is not my cuppa because there's no outside element. My evolving branch of the tribe doesn't overlap the party list as much as it used to either. Nevertheless, it's a place I really enjoy going to see people I'd not see otherwise without a fair bit of effort.

  3. I have not been able to wrap my brain around reading all the nuance of this situation. Being away the last most of a week... I just don't have the capacity to comb through it all those comments and all the posts.

  4. Which means I am not comfortable wading in beyond this ankle deep place I'm in right now.

  5. I have known both sides of this situation for a long time. 1998 for Scott and Rachel, and since before 'Song moved out of Atlanta to here (but not by much... pre 2004, though). [livejournal.com profile] yendi slept on our spare bed when interviewing here. Scott and Rachel hosted my baby shower.

  6. I have experienced sexual violence. I am "lucky." My perpetrator is dead, I never have to worry about him coming to a party. If so? Clearly we have bigger problems. But I've been there. I fit the part of the population more likely to find myself there again. I'm keen on continuing not to have any more up close and personal experiences.

  7. I do not now nor do I intend to have big parties with big lists of people coming into my domain any time soon. I used to try to do this, but I am not of a temperament to deal, nor are my partners. I do know it's a complex thing to have hundreds of people in your domain all at the same time, much less every N months.

  8. I have more to say, but given 3, I'd be coming from a place where I'm probably assuming or less informed.

  9. I'm left feeling anxious. How can we continue as a complex multi-layered group of communities that from time to time have social functions with each other if someone with my degree of shared history/background/experience is almost wholly unwilling to say more than this on this situation for fear of being torn to shreds?

  10. I may be able not to interface with this situation as deeply or directly as I would like, however, I want to clarify that any social gathering I'm responsible for that anyone here reading may be invited to: I feel strongly about people feeling safe. If you do not feel safe while you are at my party, please let me know as soon as you can. I will work with you to come to a preferred outcome. I speak for me, although I suspect my household adamantly shares this view.

Nov. 19th, 2013 11:35 am

Preemptive

mizarchivist: (River/Freaked)
Yes I heard about the tragedy in Arlington.
No that's not my neighborhood.
I just read up on it and I'm almost sorry I did because now I'm feeling ill.
I can't tell you how much I don't want to talk about it.
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Oct. 13th, 2013 07:41 pm

ReadySetGO

mizarchivist: (CrimeFighter7Wks)
Yay for good weather. Crime Fighter and I managed to attend HONK! yesterday and today, although I'd not intended to go at all. I'm very glad I did, as the kid had quite a good time and it was wonderful to be in the midst of such glorious, colorful, joyous cacophony. I'm not sure who leveled up, but I managed both afternoons a solo kid wrangler. I'm going with both of us. Let's hope between that and a trip to the baby-gym this morning, he will sleep all night. 
May. 26th, 2013 09:23 pm

So proud

mizarchivist: (MassEquality)
Rainbow_flag_and_blue_skies
(By Ludovic Bertron from New York City, Usa [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons)
My honorary niece, who is 14, just came out to me before anyone else. I think she'll be fine. I wish she lived closer so I could actually SEE her more (in generally, but for this kind of support). At least we live in the age of the internet where we can talk everyday anyway. She will be fine. Maybe she doesn't tell her dad for a while...
mizarchivist: (Eddie-Cake or Death?)
[livejournal.com profile] treatsfortits has started the latest auction, the entries are still going up, actually. I have donated 2 watercolors, a necklace set and a pirate tin, since [livejournal.com profile] taura_g broadened the auction theme to include the more artistic. It's very exciting! All the work's already done n' all! I may have over-done it. So, for the important reason of b00bs and keeping b00bs from being commandeered by dumb cells, go bid. And for the much less noble reason of my EGO, go bid. Because I'm going to fall into histrionic fits if my stuff is passed over.
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mizarchivist: (Knit)
Today featured 2 houses viewed by various members of the household, and neither suiting our needs. We deployed the nopetopus and we carry on. The one I got to see is about to undergo major renovation. I flat out refuse to trust that such major work will get done within the originally stated deadline. The bones of the abode do not warrant that kind of single-minded commitment and zeal. The other was just too small.

In the  meantime, since it was the Gore Sheep Shearing Festival, I took the kid. There was junk food eaten, vendors' wears viewed, and a small menagerie of creatures seen: goats, sheep, dogs, small horses, llamas, chickens, and ducks to be precise. Crime Fighter pet his first horse and baaaaah-ed at real sheep and meeeeh-ed at real goats. It was fun!

I'm being social tomorrow, so decided that despite my excessive weariness that I'd tackle baking tonight: bread pudding and an eggless banana bread. The desserts that scream, "I have food about to go bad- let's add sugar!" The bread surplus is now at a reasonable level and no longer in danger of becoming a penicillin farm; the bananas that are too ripe to be interesting to toddlers, also transformed. This means at least the hard part's done and I don't have to fit it all in tomorrow morning.
mizarchivist: (Kaylee Smiles)
I went to witness the bar mitzvah for K. today! I put on my social anthropologist hat and head scarf and trucked north for the service. My last such said was my cousin's bat mitzvah in the early '90s. All I remember was the walking around with the Torah and my cousin reading, so this was essentially a new experience for me. I didn't understand 95% of what was said all morning. However, that's OK. The aspects I am carrying with me now- the magnitude, pride, happiness, and hard work. I very much like the concept of a more gradual slide into official adulthood, and having a concrete activity that requires serious study and preparation to help the adolescent Level Up (as was so aptly said today).
I'm blessed to live in a tribe that has so many threads of different traditions to add to our collective. This was probably the best, most life-affirming activity I could have had the honor of attending at this time: very healing after a solid week of chaos, fear and violence.

I was right in leaving Crime Fighter at home for the service. I got him gussied in his Flash onesie for the party, though, where he lived up to his reputation of "Fountain of Cute," to quote [livejournal.com profile] drwex. Lots of dancing, running around, and spinning.

Life Goes On. 
mizarchivist: (boston)
We are about to lose Windsor Button, not because it was not well loved or well visited, but because they are losing their lease. Well, thanks to everyone flocking there, the sales at Minds Eye Yarn have plummeted in the past month to the point where the dear owner is thinking she may have to close by June if things don't turn around this coming month. We've lost a lot of good yarn stores in the last 5 years, with folks spending less and rents rising. However, I cannot stand by and watch a friend's business and a family member's job just disappear without some fighting. My word from the inside is that $20 can go a long way if enough people are giving a bit at a steady rate. So, if you're a fiber-nerd that doesn't want to resort to what's available at Michael's or AC Moore by July, you will go to Mind's Eye in and over the next week or two and show some love. Please. Pass it on- (Feel free to buy something FOR your fiber loving friend if you are not one of them.)
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mizarchivist: (Ice Cream)
Signal boosting-
http://treatsfortits.livejournal.com/36778.html
time to bid on tasty treats! 

(I don't have a cookie icon. Sad.)
Tags:
mizarchivist: (Mirrormask)
Exposition-
I didn't come to being very active with the regional UU group until I was independently mobile, say 17-18, or there abouts. But then I adored them, ended up going to Ohio University and it had a huge UU group, some I knew already. Like so many who graduate and move away, I did not stay active with the old UU friends or UU-ness in general. had always defaulted to more social rather than spiritual interactions with church, and when I moved to Boston had the UUs to get me through the first lonely year, but I inevitably found a differently focused social group. 

Fast-forward to last night-
I see in Facebook that a friend who is now in Boston but someone I knew from my earliest UU days had posted a picture. He'd lit a candle for another of our YRUU compatriots, A-, someone I'd not been particularly close to and had not really thought much about for the better part of 15 years. This guy's been in the hospital with a failed liver for a few weeks and there's been a ton of chatter on the YRUU group page, but thanks to my filtering and lack of attention, I never a whisper about it until last night, and now I'm catching up with my concern and just looking back. I have no idea if he'll pull out of this. He's my age, though, and really- livers should last longer than that. 

Some observations-
It's been so long since I really-really thought about my old friends and my old life, I started to doubt a bit that it was that much of a thing. But, no. They were very important to me. I'd say 80% of my friends in college were associated with the UUs. Maybe more. I went to weekly meetings, held office within the group, helped organize fundraising and events- all of it. Some people had Greek life, I had the Unitarians. My tribe. How could I lose track of something so central to my life? Why did I forget it? (she asks rhetorically, then answers pedantically)- Because life is like that. Filled with overlapping things, hopefully mostly good things. And as Robin pointed out at lunch, we can as humans only keep track of about 150 people at a time with great feeling. This feels true. Even if we had the miracles of all the current social media, not just college email accounts and the most rudimentary internet- I still might have slipped through and on.  I was filling my life with new: people, place, activities.

This is a horrible situation and I hate that someone who is still in the prime of life is struggling to breathe and make it through the day. It's scary and thinking about it very hard makes me want to hide under my desk or the equivalent thereof. However, if A- had not gotten sick, if his friends hadn't used that YRUU page on Facebook to keep the rest updated, I'd have never known, not thought about them or that time in my life. Now I am and I remember bits and pieces: how they made me feel better after years of being teased in school. They reveled in my weird. They expected weird. So, despite this bad, there is some good coming out of it. Let the universe be kind. Let A- get out of this and has several decades more.

Light a candle, think a thought, say a prayer, play a song, look at pictures, hug the hugs: whatever it is that you do when you are scared for someone and you can't do anything to intervene. And really, this isn't just for A. It's for [livejournal.com profile] ricevermicelli, who has been on my mind so much the last few weeks, and I can't do anything for her, either. And for the others out there, beyond my scope worrying and struggling. Love to you all. 
mizarchivist: (MassEquality)
So, it looks like the weather's going to be nice and I appear to have no plans for Saturday. 
Is anyone else planning on going to Pride? I thought taking the babe down and see all the fabulous would be a good afternoon activity. 
Jun. 18th, 2011 10:16 pm

Tribe

mizarchivist: (Fire)
I was social, saw lots of people, was not overwhelmed, saw fire spinning. And I got to wear my stretchy black dress and felt purty.

Tired now. Too tired for a snack I think.
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mizarchivist: (Chocolate)
[livejournal.com profile] treatsfortits is a  project of  [livejournal.com profile] taura_g for the purpose of raising money for the July 2011 Komen for the Cure 3-Day Walk right here in the Boston area. - please consider bidding on the excellent food options! Except the cake truffles. Those are mine... oh wait. No, go ahead- beat me if you can to those.
mizarchivist: (Kaylee Smiles)
It was a great day yesterday, despite rain. Roll call starts here....
[livejournal.com profile] purple_terror 's mom arrived at 10 (3 hours after she left Camden), stood around, met [livejournal.com profile] asciikitty  (eee, surprise!) had some coffee then wondered WTF we were doing still standing around for and let's get rolling, already. She and K went off to The Unicorn to clean everything in sight. Woah. The woman is a force to be reckoned with. It set the day off to a great start, because seriously- you need MOM energy and that mom can zomg-clean. K's major task was dealing with the window screens, which had apparently never been cleaned in this lifetime and had stopped being transparent. Gross work, but aren't we glad we're doing it now so that gunk didn't settle into the house? Yeah.
[livejournal.com profile] fiddledragon  and her crew showed up first, took away pillows to be re-fashioned into not pillows and just about all the clothes we'd bagged up. She's happy because now there is a ton of raw material for her project. I'm thrilled because it's gone.
[livejournal.com profile] rintrahroars  showed up before the rain really got started and proceeded to attack my kitchen with vim and vigor.
[livejournal.com profile] lifecollage  arrived a bit after that and was given the challenge (and honor) of stowing [livejournal.com profile] quiet_elegance 's knife alter. Quote she: "there's some talky things on that table, dude." Oh, yes- aren't there? That was a task we could not delegate to many. We were both hugely grateful for her attentions.
[livejournal.com profile] caulay  and [livejournal.com profile] ahf  arrived ready to rumble and took on the donations to the vets, then dealt with the last book case, which they then took home (case not contents)- to everyone's great satisfaction.
[info]
library_sexy
and [livejournal.com profile] zzbottom  arrived right at the transition point, took away one of [livejournal.com profile] quiet_elegance 's hand built cabinets he'd been using for hand tools for the last N years, but will not work in the new space: too small to contain the current collection and the new place is limited on where our stuff can be anchored to walls. It's seriously a gorgeous piece and it was killing me wondering where it ought go. I mean, really.  There's debate on the object that was the knife alter still. Hoping it's re-established in not our house within the next week, or at least decided. l_s and zz relocated to The Unicorn and helped in furniture assembly-- made a great bit of progress, too, from what I heard. Yay! Places to put STUFF.

Seriously-- I am always over the moon when things of perfectly good use and quality that have lived out their time with me then get relocated to places where they'll continued to be used.

I had enough energy to fold all the laundry and walk up to get the indian food (my turn to "cook"- it's the week of guess we're doing take out most of the time). I sat through all of Country Strong (on the strength of Gweneth Paltrow's time on Glee- clearly she can sing)- but the damage! Ohhh the damage of those characters. I had to thank q_e for us not being anything like that.  In other AV entertainment observations,  I also had fun with shows featuring pregnant people and how clearly they're not really pregnant because XYZ. Specifically, they didn't coach Angela on Bones very well on how to stand/walk as a 6 month-pregnant person. Also costume folks needed to pad her out a bit more up top. Not voluminous enough by far. Hilarity!

To sum up: this community kicks some serious ass. I'm entirely confident that the big move on Friday will be pretty painless and mostly because of the excellent work performed yesterday. I was somewhat taken aback that I actually didn't have the chance to pack anything myself because I was too busy directing one group or another. I am less likely to over-extend if I'm the director, so further serious win.
mizarchivist: (Life is GOOD)
The sun was out
The nest-egg got deposited in the bank
I interviewed two great interns for the on-going group project
I helped [livejournal.com profile] minkrose  decant more boxes, which felt very useful to me and to her.
[livejournal.com profile] aroraborealis  hosted (is hosting) what turned out to be a great community interaction- sure, some trolls but overall  serious effort made to make efforts at conscientious conversation. <3
Jan. 13th, 2011 03:43 pm

Thanks

mizarchivist: (GeekLove)
No, really- thank you. Love you guys. If I didn't feel the love and support of my community, I really do now. I lack the capacity to reply to all the comments I've gotten over the past two days.
mizarchivist: (boston)
Yak and Yeti: Tibetan/Indian food in Ball Sq. Kind of light on the TIbetan food side, but tasty. Their medium-spicy is more like a low-grade hot.

Tai Chi at World Rhythms: [livejournal.com profile] quiet_elegance  really likes it! Yay! I enjoyed it, too, but can't dedicate another night to a class (time and money) The guy who instructs, Adison, is made of mellow. His grace is staggering. I can see him being a natural at modern dance and the like. If all goes according to plan, q_e will go back for at least a 5 week run and has aspirations of learning the sword style if Adison's up for it. That last bit is sort of way down the line. Gotta learn to crawl before you can dance on a tight rope.

Also: they're looking for front-desk help, like starting 2 weeks ago. Poor Javier (the owner) is somewhat frantic. He's a great guy, but doesn't really have the energy for details, like sending out reminders, replying to email, keeping up with the web site. He and his wife have a little kid and I think still live in Worcester. He's been at the studio every night, which is a strain that's starting to show. Anyway- if you need some part time work? It's a walk from Davis or Porter and they are Good People.
mizarchivist: (Default)
So there's this random picture meme that popped up this afternoon and I failed my saving throw.

me, today: 9/15/10
I default to Serious Face, apparently. 
... and since seeing this and doing the picture, getting distracted by work and all, there's a geometric growth of  the same post. I approve.
mizarchivist: (Rosie-Did It)
I thought I could keep up with responding individually to all my kind friends. Perhaps I can find that energy later, but right now-- Thank you. I'm doing as well as one can be considering I'm several hundred miles away from my parents, several thousand from much of my extended family. Dad's off to Pittsburgh to help Carol deal with the aftermath/paperwork and until then, we're all just waiting to hear when the next thing, since we know the what of the next thing.

I've been at work and some have said: "go home." And do what? Wait there by myself. Instead I did menial and manual things here waiting for a phone to ring. (or buzz).

So, thank you. I feel loved and supported.
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