She said "You can't fail." ... what?! OK. That I'm exceptionally resourceful and talented, and that I'll find SOMETHING to do, and it might not be what I thought, but I'm not going to fail. Well. OK, then. I prefer this narrative. Let's go with this.
Today's a feeling mopey day. (Got to visit with someone I rather like yesterday, but It's Complicated tm. Not much to be done. I don't really want to talk about it here, but I do. Did I mention complicated?) Then follow up from this year's Confessional) caused me to grin and blush a fair bit. Because apparently it's a year where I was gifted my very own thread. So, if any of the anon commenters are reading here... hi! I deeply appreciate being appreciated. I'm still bone-deep intrigued by people carrying torches for apparently decades. I realize some things are not meant to be known by the object 'pon which one crushes, but ... well, you know. CURIOUS!
(GAH!, naughty dreamwidth, which publishes the post when you hit enter when putting in tags. )
What else? Everything, nothing?
House- I've not mentioned much here, but I'm about to be a home-owner. asciiktty's parents' house will soon be my family's house. It's exciting! It's on the Newton/Watertown line, and will not transfer residence until after the end of the school year.
Work? Still not king. But got rolling on Preservica. Had my first training (finally) today, and soon it'll be a going concern. I'm also working on cleaning up within the Records Management part of my life, which goes with an Asset Management System.
Kid- Doing OK. Very 5. I haven't had the energy to post here, but dealing with gender expression and declared self "Girl" in the fall, which has been persistent ever since. (I need more long sleeve dresses for her). Looks like repeating kindergarten is for sure going to happen. No surprise. If she were 3 weeks younger, she'd have been in pre-K again this year. I'm calling this the practice year- get the notions of what is expected sorted out and then work on academic benchmarks.
Wife- EMPLOYED! That happened uh, about a week and a half ago? No, 2 weeks ago exactly. They called on a Monday for the next day. that's the union for you, friends. She's still looking for work that doesn't involve wearing a tool belt and hauling particle board. She's also being happy and ridiculous at a new person. I'm full of compersion for her. He's a nice guy and lives in Dorchester.
Health/physicality- been climbing still, not enough. I need to ping CRG and put a hold on my membership. I can't do all the things, as it turns out. When I live in Newton, that'll likely be my default gym since they have a location about 2 mi from my new house.
I also have been participating in StepBet, because asciikitty is an enabler. That has gamified my activity just enough to keep me from slipping. I'm starting to feel like there's some difference. My goal is to have my utilikilt fit me as it should again.
Fam- I got to visit family in the Hudson Valley a few weeks ago, and then my parents visited this past weekend. The NY trip was to see my aunt in Our Town. My mom's younger sister. My mom, my Aunt Leslie and Uncle Will plus ersatz-Aunt Susan (I actually have an actual aunt by that name, just to confuse things), plus theatrical aunt's two adult kids were on site. Jaime and Kid also came with. it was quite an impromptu reunion and I was happy for the chance.
My parents had been planning on visiting me this weekend for a while. Mom's a huge advocate of vacation rentals, a good way to get a decent place near my house but not IN my house to take some pressure off those family members who might not be that social, the fact that the house is big, but that with guests it no longer feels adequate. Can allow for the dog to come if they want (not this time). It's overall a good thing. This time we went to Newburyport and got a beach house. Yes, tons of snow on the ground, but it was still delightful. The house itself was one that I'd very much like to rent again for a fun get-away for adults (sans parents or kids). It had a great aesthetic and a very nicely stocked kitchen with sharp knives and quality cook wear.
- Somerville Open Studios/art/plans: total success. I enjoyed spending the weekend with mangosteen and lifecollage. I've now done enough craft fairs in the last several years to master the zen this time around. Historically I get quite frenetic about making new product. Not this time. I did maybe 8 pieces since Arisia, and that was fine. I was focused on being present and not on sales, so the fact I did quite well was made that much more. I very much hope this works out again next year. Most notably, I sold my last dragon tin. I have no more dragons! I must make more!! Any suggestions on color themes welcome. I may ignore them, but consider that survey open. Future plans for projects involve using peanut butter/mason jars. I've done a few here and there. They look cool and are a different sort of functionality to boxes. Also, we have an almost never-ending regeneration of empty jars.
- Cope: (or lack thereof) Events like craft fairs steal whatever cope and energy I'd normally have. Today I feel like I've been beaten with sticks, hence me updating rather than trying to be a productive member of the staff. I'm also just low on cope. The spectre of no formal income for Jaime is a Thing of Awful. Not knowing when The Good Health Insurance (and access to my therapists) is a huge stress. (more on the progress side in a sec). The stress is causing everyone at home to be ragged around the edges and harder for me to forgive stupid shit, be present, ... you know. The usual. I am one fuck-up away from a crying jag kind of all the time.
- Jaime/Job/Prospects:. Her interview mid last week went well at academic institution (my alma mater, btw). They are coming up hard against commencement and then summer clean up, so they'll need a Jaime asap. It's a 2nd shift job, which would present a new set of challenges, but steady, full time, permanent, unionized work. In the meantime, the tribe did the tribe thing and Jaime has about a dozen leads to follow up on for side work. I introduced Jaime to the tool, Trello, to keep track of the leads and then forced her to sit down today after lunch so I could walk through it with her to cement in the notion of using it.
- Kid: His teacher thinks he should see a therapist. I'm looking into it via the pediatrician from the list available to use through new insurance. Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't. I think he's just 4 and surrounded by stressed people, but also his daddy is a lady, and maybe he might want to process that with someone not his teacher and not his parent. Otherwise, we are doing OK? He and asciikitty had an awesome adventure that lasted most of yesterday and involved walking all the way back from lifecollage's house to our house. He and I played "store" the other night with his pretend food and cardboard pavers. [Dad loves to tell the story of me playing "bartender" when I was his age. When we moved into the house they're still in, there was a bar in the basement. I'd set up, offer to pour drinks, ask to hear about my customer's problems, and offer cliche aphorisms in response all the while wiping down the bar with a rag. Dad has NO idea where this came from. Kids are weird and awesome]
- Travel/visits: My dad'll be here this weekend. Mom will be here in early June. Jaime/Kid/I will head to Ohio in early Sept to visit family. October I'll be back again for jedipartner1967's wedding (!!). All other vacation time is allotted to cover when the public school is closed this fall. There's a lot of one-off days and vacations, and no idea what Jaime's free time will be like, so have to assume it's me covering.... for now.
- Cultural: Seeing Arcadia with Dad and ascii this weekend; Swan Lake with coworkers on the 13th; rollerskating on the 21st with sweetmmeblue and ahf (yes, I call that cultural); Brandi Carlile with caulay in early June; Doubleclicks in late June... It feels like a lot. I want to go see Verse and Vodka coming up, but I feel overwhelmed, dammit.
- Work: not much? I'm sort of in a lull. One coworker's been out due to vacation then illness then workshop, so generally quieter than usual. My intern is done for the semester. I expect things will pick up soon.
Did I mention I have been doing a lot of walking lately? Primarily the morning commute-- that it's not that hard to take the bus, drop off the kid, and walk to Alewife. It gives me a bit of time to really move. My average is about 20-25 min. to get the mile+, which is just as good if not markedly better than waiting for and then sitting on a slow bus. If nothing else, I'm in charge of my pace rather than being trapped and waiting to go.
But bike! asciikitty's mom fixed up my bike, which was thrashed to hell and back. This was the first week I had a chance to use it for the commute. It's.... OK? Nice not to be beholden to the to-the-school bus, and it only takes about 10-15 to do the return to Alewife, but I genuinely missed the walking bit, so today I chose that instead of the bike and was quite happy.
Did I mention, I'm walking to Mordor and back with asciikitty's D&D friends? There's a spreadsheet (of course there is) and the company's cumulative daily miles walked go towards the goal. A. said that bike counts, too, and by extension if that's true, then skating counts. Turns out leaving your phone in your pocket triggers the pedometer when skating. Mwahhahahaaa!!! I mean, I'd already made a commitment to walk 4 miles minimum most days, and adding bike miles puts me over 6. It's all quite fun. I am taking a ridiculous amount of pride in being the top walker of the company. Turns out I am a bit competitive. I sort of forgot about that.
OH, and samuraizergling and I went skating last Friday out at Rollerworld (hence me finding out about the pedometer). Some skaters had GROUND LIGHT EFFECTS. I inquired. I got some of my own. The problem is, I'm not entirely certain how to accomplish the effect on my own. Getting Jaime to do that may work? Maybe. I need to implicitly ask if she can get on that today/tomorrow so when A. and I go skating THIS Saturday it'll be working. (Also, skating! Yay!) They were so effing cool.
So funny to be at the rink when it's not a private party I'm ostensibly throwing. So many teens, so many small humans falling down left and right. I have (knock wood) just sailed through, serenely. But also so odd to feel so young and know that all but maybe 3 people out on the rink are of an age to be my own kid. Not just my own kid, but my kid had whilst married. I ridiculously hope that if I am observed at all, I am considered a cool old person by the whippersnappers.
Skate skate skate!
Now I'm staring at the screen and don't know what to say, that whatever I say will be dumb.
I am trying to remind myself that this transition thing is not a linear progression. There's backtracking all the time, and I feel like I'm in a backtrack spot. Nothing helped by a double-dose of PMS and a heaping blanket of "I hate February, because it's cold and gray."
But. We have a visitor this weekend, Tom from the UK. He's one of our favorite people and he's staying at our house and hanging out, drinking tea, and telling ridiculous stories. It's good.
Anyway. note to self: it'll be OK. You'll feel better soon. Treat yourself more kindly. DEPRESSION LIES.
Full swoop. I'm planning to let it grow out a bit more. I've already tried to braid it. Maybe small ones. Braided 'hawk by Arisia? Likely.
See? Already pinnable.
It was a bit scary to do, as it's so bold but glad I did. At least the household is in enthusiastic support.
I posted to FB last night and was told by asciikitty that I was deemed "Adorable" ... in quotes. Why quotes, I asked... I was imagining they were saying "SHE LOOKS SO GAY!" (sort of the point), but "Hot" was the adjective batted about. I appreciate they have some decorum in the more open spaces of the internet.
It's long! But it's short! So amused.
Also, got to have dinner with drwex again, which is a new trend, trending towards tradition, as he got his haircut after mine. It's an ideal format for visiting, at least in this moment. Yay.
- The childhood friends: all 3 in one place with me for a mini reunion that defies superlatives.
- Losing my internal sensor almost immediately upon arrival (primarily from that mini reunion)
- Marathon day at the conference, hitting later afternoon and experiencing this surreal state of cascading epiphanies and clarity.
- Writing the draft to an article I want to expand on describing the big deal stuff going on with work project(s). More to the point, having encouragement from Leader In Field suggest I write it
- Diving into twitter, gaining almost double the followers I had last week (36 to 61? It's odd)
- Getting a ton of support from a ton of people who are more convinced of my capacity than I am
- Lots and lots of good learning moments
- Rock n Roll hall of fame visit
- Visiting with jedipartner1967 (short short form: home from hospital, doing super well!!)
- The kid and his grandpa and the extended time together while the wimmin folk worked
- Looking forward to a low-key social on Sunday in the back yard
- Looks like Grace and Amy will be visiting me in Boston in November. That's going to be epic. Prep the bail money now.
Which was somewhat sidelined by a visit to the ENT for me after I'd been having some not-small issues breathing well at night.
I thought I was going in for a 20 min visit, which would then get a follow-up where STUFF happened.
( And what happened at the ENT and thereafter. May be some TMI. )
The rest of the day was a bit distracted with my post-doctor visit self and perpetually asking "do you smell that, too, or is that just me?"- but Amy and I had a lot of fun. We headed out to Back Bay. We visited the Church of the Covenant, spontaneously. It's a gorgeous gothic style cathedral (half-sized, so perfect for Back Bay) with Tiffany windows. I strongly recommend taking a real tour (they're on Newbury St. near the Garden) or at least a virtual one. The initial goal of Newbury besides to show the neighborhood was because I wanted to go to Warby Parker and pick out sunglasses. Which I did:
Thai food for lunch across from the BPL and a spontaneous visit to lifecollage, who gave us a spontaneous tour of the library. I had not visited the revamped space. The teen room: amazing. The kid room: even more amazing. I have to chisel out some free time when the library's open to take the kid.
Our final Friday destination was to Central Sq. Back home for dinner with the fam + asciikitty's bff, P.
Saturday was pretty laid back. Amy and the kid hung out. Groceries were got. Cupcakes were eaten. Dinner at Olivios with these crazy kids:
I appear to have allowed committed the sin of volunteering and will be in committee this year helping sweetmmeblue with guest of honor liaison (GOHL) for Arisia next January. At least I'll be in good company. And you know, hang out with John Scalzi a bit. This is actually a good thing. I think.
I discovered with buxom_bey that SkyZone is a fantastic place to take toddlers. They are literally allowed to bounce off the walls there. Next time we get tickets well in advance. We were only able to let the kids play for half an hour, as they booked up. Turns out our kids really like hanging out together, so we'll be headed to the MOS in a few weeks. Again.
In other positivity news, I have the first half of today off. I "slept in" a whole 15 minutes, so did the kid. Knowing I didn't have to rush to work meant a 90% reduction in stress to get the kid out the door. Would I could harness that on a normal day. We'll see... So, here I am, with free time! I already did a full half hour of Dance Central, did the dishes, and next up is some painting while catching up on TV.
The kid started in on some theraputic play time via the school system to try to help him learn how to work with his classmates and stay on task. His teachers have been frustrated at the degree of independence he has. And at least for the next 15-19 years, he's going to need to suffer through group activities for much of his day. Learning how to do that is required.
Awright. Those paintings aren't going to paint themselves...
A distracted write-up...
Set up my art show table-->
As of now, only a Cthulhu ornament has been purchased, but we have most of a day left to turn it around... I'm hopeful.
Most of my con was spent, as it always is, wandering around and being social. I got to see missdimple and docorion, reconnected with a fellow knitter, Beth, who'd been at last year's festivities. Friday evening samuraizergling and I had food and extensive chat. I wandered and chatted and didn't feel rushed, as Crime Fighter didn't join me til Saturday. I even ironed all my clothes that needed it and attended the art show reception. Lee Moyers (This year's artist guest of honor) is someone I knew of beforehand and have all his pin up literary calendars, so I got to meet him. Charming. Man. Just sayin'. As hoped, weegoddess and I successfully visited. Despite living not that far apart, we don't see each other often.
Saturday I hoped mzkero's elder child get sorted with his con. Startling that he's 9 already! He was a delight. Crime Fighter donned his Superman jammies and dove into Turtle Track. Like any good 3 year old, he claimed he did not want to go, but then had an excellent time while there. The staff there is absolutely amazing and I am grateful for their attention and expertise.
Arisia established a cosplay repair statation this year, which I helped at. Mostly seweing on buttons and handing out duct tape. But it was in a prime location and I got front row seats for mud_puppy and docorion's wibbly wobbly wedding
By happenstance, buxom_bey ended up joining us for a sleepover for Saturday. Eventually :) The kiddo and I crashed out while everyone was in full revelry mode-- but s'alright. We had a full day. And morning over a bit of a picnic breakfast Bey and I got to catch up. Anyway, a distracted write-up, I know, but mostly an excuse to post the superhero surveying his domain.
+ survived day 1 of 2 of open studios.
+ lifecollage was awesome.
+ broke even
o but that's about it
+ met new folks
- didn't see many familiar faces
+ found out about 2 more craft fairs (at a temple in early Nov., and Pandemonium 12/14.)
+ thinking about doing both, plus the usual Arisia
+ still have a whole day tomorrow
+ and have company for it in Robin.
+ have a decent spreadsheet of commission requests
+++ came home and let asciikitty try on the shrug I just finished. It fits her perfectly, so it's her early birthday present. Now I know how much more to knit for my own version. Seriously- it's a perfect fit.
- that shrug was supposed to be for Amy back home
+ but she wants clay anyway.
So yeah. Good day.
I have about 3 times more ideas than what I have done. So when I say "I have no time".... hah.
In non-clay news, we are hosting coworker Robin for a few days til she can move into her new house. She was adorably bouncy now that the worst is over and she knows where she'll be sleeping next week. This was a question til yesterday.
Further not-clay: QE got a cortisone shot yesterday, and it should be kicking in any day now.. And since his union health insurance started back up, he can go switch doctors to one that's within the union universe. They may know a thing or two about chronic pain.
She has never visited me since I moved to Boston. I want to fix this. I want this to be on my birthday week(end). And given how little I need in the way of STUFF, if those of my friends feel like giving me a present next year, consider chipping in to the get-Amy-to-Boston fund. ... which has not been set up yet. Anyway- I am making note here and now for posterity, to hold myself accountable and therefore make sure this doesn't just stay a nice idea but a plan.
If this works out and we have a surplus, any extra money will go towards showing off some of Boston's finer cuisine. We can't stay in and watch old episodes of So You Think You Can Dance the whole time, right?
If all goes well, she'll fall in love with the city and really make the plan to move here with Laura and Syd ... sooner than later.
Turns out, also, our mattress has past its usefulness, so we headed up to Jordan's this past weekend and got a top end latex-foam mattress. Can't wait! Sadly, it doesn't show til Friday and as expected the last few nights of sleep are the pits, because that's how it works.
Work for me is... eh? Fine? We're busy. Writing documentation, processing collections, getting articles written about us in the NYT. You know. The usual.
Honorary Niece arrives in a week and 2 days! It's going to be a great time. I'm not taking the whole time off, but it gives the opportunity for exploration.
Wedding plans for Labor Day is set, thanks to pisicutsa's being game for adventure. Woot!
Funsies/crafting:( bulleted lists for easier scanning )
OK. There you have it.
I have been to the beach every day since I arrived. There have been some truly excellent visits. QE stayed til Monday; we even had a date courtesy of the grandparents on Sunday. Crime FighterFighter had a school friend visit Monday (with her mom). By the end of lunch they were falling asleep into their French fries. Estredell and 3 of the kids joined us for beach and tie dying Tuesday. fubar and asciikitty came up as did the latter's parents on Wed.
Today my dad and I explored historic Gloucester and did a very preliminary run to Wingaersheek beach at almost high tide. They let you come and go without repaying entry so when the grands went on a kayak tour, I returned with his shortness, by which point it was almost low tide. So many hermit crabs!I finally have a decent shell collection. He came home wearing his froggy bucket as a hat.
Tomorrow QE returns in the afternoon for a romp, dinner and to bring us home. I have very much enjoyed the time off. I stopped wearing my watch 2 days ago. I am ridiculously tan, even with sunscreen. Not quite enough ice cream but I have consoled myself with a wide array of junk food. The kid has been...within reason. The weaning process is mostly complete even. I'll post pictures once I synch my tech.
- Transitions to night work is hard, even when you're not the one working nights.
- Extra free floating hormone-induced anxiety is obnoxious.
+ I took Friday morning off to see Maleficent. QE came with! A nice mini-date.
+ Successful trip to Eddie Bauer and now I have ....(dun dun dunnn!) Adventure Pants! Their travel-friendly fabric is really great and it's nice to have adult-looking clothing that looks good and looks good on me.
+ quiet_elegance was able to teach with his friend Rick on Saturday and post-mortem feedback indicates more gigs to follow!
+++++ Tom and Carol came to dinner Sunday/Father's Day and QE made brisket, aka: Meat candy
- Broke a casserole dish that evening and had to pitch the mac & cheese I made, which was kind of perfect. But ceramic shards in noodles is not good eats. Just ask Alton Brown. (It turns out, I'm allowed to make more mac & cheese later)
+ lifecollage joined the kid and me for a Sunday morning adventure: picnic breakfast at the Yurt's courtyard, then a trip to Cambridge Commons playground. Overall A+ adventure that ended with a long nap that didn't start til we got home.
? I think I may be overly attached to bubble tea right now. Turns out boiling the tapioca pearls right is harder and time-intensive than you'd think, but I'm learning. Favorite flavor combo at home: cow milk, coconut milk, black tea, and limeade with the tapioca pearls. Go-to restaurant flavor is coconut.
- Failed to go to Pride.
+ used that time instead to prep for the big Sunday dinner; half of that time Crime Fighter hung out at Estradell. Then I got to go over, too.
+ Going out this Thursday with book club to see The Fault In Our Stars (FINALLY!), and we're seeing it at the Capitol, so I can walk to/from, *and* lifecollage is backup adult* so I can enjoy dinner out, and-and-and I have a free pass for the movie.
+ I have backup adult coverage for book club-proper next week.
+ I'm taking tomorrow off! For fun! red_canna and I have crafting notions.
+ The kid is transitioning out of toddler/preschool into the preschool class at the end of the month! The median age for his class right now has decreased a lot in the last few months, as is the way of things. A bored Crime Fighter is a dangerous Crime Fighter.
+ My parents and the pup will be here for a week following 4th of July and we're hanging out in Rockport in a rental house. It's going to be grand fun and full of adventures.
+ The to-do check list at work has contributed a great deal to me feeling productive.
- But not enough to keep me from goofing off a bit more than I'd like.
*backup adult: With QE out in the evenings, going out and doing stuff can be complicated if anything starts before... oh, 8:30. The kid seems to sense when I have plans and will go on sleep strike. It's good to have someone else around just in case so fubar isn't left fubar-ed.
After breakfast, the three of us went out for an adventure at the "pirate park"-- the playground at the Cambridge Common/Harvard Sq. That will be the last warm weather adventure I go on with Crime Fighter that doesn't include at least a hand towel and a complete change of clothes. Winter made me complacent. I went out and got a Harvard shirt and a small towel while QE played goalie. The water/sand feature was entirely enjoyed.
I did not realize that the Garage's pizza joint, Crazy Dough, features the big squares of bready pizza that they had at one of the pizza parlors at OU. It was the perfect pre-lunch snack.
Post nap, we hung out at Estradell, came back for dinner with the family, and post lunch I was released into the wild to have ice cream. I love Davis Square, I really do. primal_pastry, red_canna +kids, mangosteen, lifecollage were on purpose, but then saw Ethan, Aili and their wee child, zzbottom, librarysexy, and their less wee child; beah, and her even less wee child, kit_holliday & her crew, who were hanging out with the musicians. Of course. While with Kit, a nice looking youngish guy came over to say hi to her- turns out it was Ryan Montbleau. I am ashamed I'd not really remembered him, but hell of a great musician. See? Proof. Awesome.
So, thank you to my mother. Hope all my fellow parentals had a lovely day regardless of gender. Extra love for those missing the hell out of your moms. Big squeezes for the whole loving tribe that is my family for making this job easier every day, especially the ones I live with: quiet_elegance, fubar and asciikitty.
This morning, however, I got to sleep til 6:30 before Crime Fighter came in for snuggles, then he and QE went off to breakfast at the diner. I lolled about, read some, made waffles and eggs for breakfast. The boys came home for a bit before Crime Fighter went off to visit the Watertown Woodwards for a playdate. I got to make stew and cookie dough, spend some time with QE, and look at the internet. The ensuing nap would have gone way past 3, if I'd not gone in to wake him to go sledding! The kid's never been before, but we have a really amazing hill not far from the house behind the Boys and Girls club. It's actually pretty intense. I feel a bit badly because I had said we'd go to the awesome castle playground after naps, but then when our Monkey-House/Estradell tribe said "yes, sledding," um, YES. SLEDDING. It was a bit gnarly getting there with a stroller, but we managed. After little prompting, Crime Fighter enthusiastically got on a sled with me, we stayed on the whole way, and he yelled "Again!" as soon as we were done. It was a good thing we left when we did, because by the time he got home, he was very sadly cold.
As promised, I made chocolate chip cookies as soon as I got home, and had some help from some of our young sledding neighbors for eating of cookies.
Dinner was delicious,(Pork loin, roasted Brussels sprouts, roasted baby taters, apple sauce).
The Kid managed to land the unwanted food in his mouth onto his plate again and not on the floor. This is a big victory.
Lunch is made for tomorrow.
The dishes are done.
The kid didn't argue overly at bedtime.
I'm going to go make more fiber-related art now.