mizarchivist: (Default)
Hi friends. How are you? 

Today's a feeling mopey day. (Got to visit with someone I rather like yesterday, but It's Complicated tm. Not much to be done. I don't really want to talk about it here, but I do. Did I mention complicated?)  Then follow up from this year's Confessional) caused me to grin and blush a fair bit.  Because apparently it's a year where I was gifted my very own thread. So, if any of the anon commenters are reading here... hi! I deeply appreciate being appreciated. I'm still bone-deep intrigued by people carrying torches for apparently decades. I realize some things are not meant to be known by the object 'pon which one crushes, but ... well, you know. CURIOUS! 

(GAH!, naughty dreamwidth, which publishes the post when you hit enter when putting in tags. )

What else? Everything, nothing?

House- I've not mentioned much here, but I'm about to be a home-owner. asciiktty's parents' house will soon be my family's house. It's exciting! It's on the Newton/Watertown line, and will not transfer residence until after the end of the school year.

Work? Still not king. But got rolling on Preservica. Had my first training (finally) today, and soon it'll be a going concern. I'm also working on cleaning up within the Records Management part of my life, which goes with an Asset Management System.

Kid- Doing OK. Very 5. I haven't had the energy to post here, but dealing with gender expression and declared self "Girl" in the fall, which has been persistent ever since. (I need more long sleeve dresses for her).  Looks like repeating kindergarten is for sure going to happen. No surprise. If she were 3 weeks younger, she'd have been in pre-K again this year. I'm calling this the practice year- get the notions of what is expected sorted out and then work on academic benchmarks.

Wife- EMPLOYED! That happened uh, about a week and  a half ago? No, 2 weeks ago exactly. They called on a Monday for the next day. that's the union for you, friends. She's still looking for work that doesn't involve wearing a tool belt and hauling particle board. She's also being happy and ridiculous at a new person. I'm full of compersion for her. He's a nice guy and lives in Dorchester.

Health/physicality- been climbing still, not enough. I need to ping CRG and put a hold on my membership. I can't do all the things, as it turns out. When I live in Newton, that'll likely be my default gym since they have a location about 2 mi from my new house.
I also have been participating in StepBet, because asciikitty is an enabler. That has gamified my activity just enough to keep me from slipping. I'm starting to feel like there's some difference. My goal is to have my utilikilt fit me as it should again.

Fam- I got to visit family in the Hudson Valley a few weeks ago, and then my parents visited this past weekend. The NY trip was to see my aunt in Our Town. My mom's younger sister. My mom, my Aunt Leslie and Uncle Will plus ersatz-Aunt Susan (I actually have an actual aunt by that name, just to confuse things), plus theatrical aunt's two adult kids were on site. Jaime and Kid also came with. it was quite an impromptu reunion and I was happy for the chance.
My parents had been planning on visiting me this weekend for a while. Mom's a huge advocate of vacation rentals, a good way to get a decent place near my house but not IN my house to take some pressure off those family members who might not be that social, the fact that the house is big, but that with guests it no longer feels adequate. Can allow for the dog to come if they want (not this time). It's overall a good thing. This time we went to Newburyport and got a beach house. Yes, tons of snow on the ground, but it was still delightful. The house itself was one that I'd very much like to rent again for a fun get-away for adults (sans parents or kids). It had a great aesthetic and a very nicely stocked kitchen with sharp knives and quality cook wear.

mizarchivist: (Fingers Crossed)
It was haircut and dinner with [livejournal.com profile] drwex this week. This has been an excellent new tradition that guarantees we have an activity to look forward to every other month that gets us out of our hermit and day to day pattern: go feel good about our hair style with Dale at DHR, then catch up over dinner. Win.

He was a most excellent human and was game for me to walk through my anxiety and frustrations on how to adult and how to talk like an adult (and lately? Feeling like I was failing at that)  My go-to for conflict resolution was to use "I" statements. These are better than accusatory "you" statements, but still do not lead the listening party to necessarily feel heard or feel like they have an active role in the conversation.  So, what instead?  He's done a lot of work lately and was able to share what he's figured out. So, a list of things to do instead...

  • Identify common goals. Frame issues in that way in "it will help me meet our common goals if you can help me with..."  And/or see if something can be agreed on "We may not agree on X but do we at least see that Y is something we want?"

  • Listen to what the person is telling you and echo back what they say

  • Ask them if that's right

  • Find out what they need to move forward (and meet goals)

  • BATNA: Best alternative to negotiated agreement. I'm still struggling a lot with how to sort out my BATNA for any sort of situation. I understand that deploying a BATNA is rarely fun or good, but that it's important to feel like you have a choice, and that sometimes the BATNA is just that: the best alternative.

  • In the meantime, do not lose focus on the victories.

  • Progress is not a straight line up and forward. Expect sometimes it won't work out

  • (therefore) Do not expect to be able to have my new tools work for me each time. Be willing to implement bits piecemeal.

  • Remember my OWN advice to myself: be patient and gentle with yourself and others.

Source for most of these suggestions

I want to treat this as a reminder to myself, this post. If anyone wants to clarify or add, if I think it'll work for me, I'll edit them in for future reference.
These tools are my security blanket. It gives me hope and makes me feel like I'm not a horrible incompetant who's just making everything around her worse. So, Wex: you are the hero of the revolution. Mwah!
Dec. 12th, 2012 12:12 pm


mizarchivist: (Cancun)
It's the last time we'll see a date with 3 repetitions in our lifetime, and it happens to be [livejournal.com profile] quiet_elegance's birthday*. His only regret is that he won't be turning 36.  And because I can schedule posts, note it's on 12:12, because that's how I roll. 

Happy Birthday, lovey! 

*Normally he celebrates at his half birthday in June, but just this once, he'll acknowledge the original day.
mizarchivist: (Cancun)
It's been 14 years since [livejournal.com profile] quiet_elegance and I decided to make an official go of it.  This year he's gotten me a renewed, slightly used, but nicely broken in Commander in Chief. This is really preferable over a new one, because I don't like the OS that goes with Mittens.

Some snapshots from anniversaries past, courtesy of Live Journal:

2003-2011... )
2012- It's been an intense year of growth and challenge. Again, there's this kid. He's great and amazing and a lot of work.
My work has shifted remarkably over the past 12 months. I have a great part time office mate/colleague whom I adore. We have a development director, a new admin, and a new cataloger. The new outnumber the established and our activity is just spinning up and up and up. We have a lot to fix, though. So much growth so quickly, and we just don't have the infrastructure to deal a lot of the time. But I hope we'll get caught up and be even better for it.
And omg, Election Fatigue. I know all elections can be pretty exhausting, but this one felt extra vitriolic. I don't want to say the worst ever, because that seems unlikely. I'm hugely relieved that the president has been re-elected. I realize he's not perfect, but he will at least support (most) of the social issues that Mittens almost certainly would actively trash or allow his cronies to trash. 
[livejournal.com profile] quiet_elegance has had a rough year. We realized in April that it was most realistic for him to stay home and be the full time kid-care. He's also found that too many years of working in the field and deferring health maintenance has lead to a lot of catch up.  BTW: cortizone shots happen on 11/20. Hopefully this will be the tipping point for him. 

There's, of course, SO much more than just what I've said, but it's a snapshot. 
LOVE to my dear life partner (in crime). LOVE to everyone who voted yesterday and to our POTUS who'll be around for a few more years. LOVE to my friends and family who remind me that the world is full of wonderful people. People who like me! 
mizarchivist: (Eddie-Squirrel)
  • I have AC in at my office now (window unit, because I'm a satellite office) I am pleased
  • I got help from one of the constructions workers next door to get the trash out- whew. We have a LOT to go with the post move, and last week we failed to get any taken because they don't actually come up to our house, just the end of the main street. Noted. (Should be interesting in winter)
  • The old house: it's not done. [livejournal.com profile] primal_pastry  went through and cleaned on Friday, and the house itself is essentially empty, it's just the basement and rest of the garage, you see... And a lot of it is pretty much just up to [livejournal.com profile] quiet_elegance  to sort- not a lot for others to do. I'm hoping he'll be well and truly done damn soon- like Friday? I hope.
    • I did way too much around the house, but most of the books are on the shelves, even if they're not in order. The kitchen still needs rehabilitation and more shelves, but it's getting there. Now that the books are mostly sorted, I have less excuse on the kitchen thing.
  • I really can't say enough about how wonderful my parents and Amy are. I keep getting reminders that my emotional state is skewed and that my capacity to deal with surprises and sudden shifts are excessively limited.
  • Ditto, [livejournal.com profile] quiet_elegance  and [livejournal.com profile] purple_terror  are very thoughtful, particularly when I'm at the end of my rope. In return, I try to do things like make the executive decision of yes we're ordering pizza one more night, then doing so and getting it paid for over the phone because after yesterday's activities we were almost or entirely non-verbal in our fatigue.
  • I'm so tired of feeling isolated over house stuff. I think that I've hit a turning point. I had to cancel seeing yet another friend yesterday because going out last night was not going to happen and trying to add that in on top of everything else was stressing me out and it was just after breakfast time.
  • Given all that: going to work is a fantastic thing. With the AC and things for me to do that are not a huge physical stress, I might have the capacity to do things like, cook dinner when I get home. This would not be the case if I were taking another day to do house stuff.
  • OK, that last point reminds me I have to shut up and do some of that to do list.
mizarchivist: (Heart)
It's [livejournal.com profile] lifecollage 's birthday today.
I've spent the past uh... 13?? years with this woman as a primary pillar of strength in all of my major life activities. It pleases me greatly that we have weathered the not fun parts and reveled in the great. Watching her maneuver into a much better place professionally and personally has been a thing of joy.

Hope your trip to the mother-land is bump-free, enjoy the shows- see you when you get back. MWAH!
Nov. 26th, 2010 09:07 am

Natal Day

mizarchivist: (Dork)
Today is the solar cycle where we observe [livejournal.com profile] asciikitty 's entrance topside. I'm particularly partial to the notion that this carbon-based life-form is purposefully wandering about and interacting with my plane of realty at such a granular level.

mizarchivist: (Cancun)
November 7 1998. I'm happy to report that these children have grown up, have not killed each other and generally proven that teaming up was a good idea.

Wedding 1998cake cutting wedding 1998
Sep. 9th, 2010 10:52 pm

Time flies

mizarchivist: (Spiffed)
10 Years. ... Really?
I shan't bore you with the detailed rhapsodies for EVOO's chef tasting menu. If you have the time/inclination etc.: go. Leave time to sober up, though.

[livejournal.com profile] purple_terror : "You realize we've never really had a fight? With Yelling?"
Me: "Well..."
P: "No, those were just disagreements."
M: "Huh... Maybe we should so we can be more like normal people."
P: "Nothing about us is normal."
M: "True."

Or something like that.
Luff Luff
mizarchivist: (Spiffed)
OK, after this, I'm done for the night, I swear.
Hey, [livejournal.com profile] purple_terror 's home! woo! Despite Boston rush hour- specifically on the T and the Orange Line this time*- making things tense for me, the airport was navigated. I even found the cell phone lot without ending up in Chelsea. We ended up going out the wrong way- or at least a new way, but ended up finding 93 N. It was weirdly not congested. There was sushi (Sushi Corner's) - eventually. Everyone and their uncle was getting takeout, so we stumbled out probably 30-40 minutes later than expected. But sushi! There was the observation of the bendy people on television, although a near-miss there, too, as the Replay had topped out at the originally allotted episodes, so stopped recording (ah hah, we say- and we fix).That would explain why it wasn't taping last Thursday without my prompting.

So- really- many things that could have been bad and irritating, but we were serene. Let the harassment begin! Also, that's a very not recent picture in that icon. Just sayin'.

*Boston Insider Observations on T Wrangling )
Short version: Avoid State Street when a by-pass on the Green will work.
Nov. 7th, 2009 06:39 am


mizarchivist: (Cancun)
This year's anniversary celebrations: decidedly more low-key than last year's. There will be good fish, though. And this is good.
mizarchivist: (Cancun)
We ended up going to Hampton after all today. I know where it is and it has what I want: boardwalk and good walking/lounging beach. And swimming if I were so inclined. Fried dough & french fries eaten, air rifle shot, pinball played, hippie clothes purchased, beach and surf walked. Also, much talk, although mostly from [profile] quiet_elegance , who is doing that talking thing a lot these days.

As it happens, it's Bob's birthday, so going to the beach seemed a very good tribute to him.

It's rare that I take a day off specifically to spend with [profile] quiet_elegance . I'm grateful that we had the time and the weather was so lovely.

mizarchivist: (Weebl)
It's been a week since Bob's memorial- I've not written anything about it because I was either too tired or just not in the space to think about it. So, it was good- very standard churchy sort, as you'd expect at a church. Some of his friends/benefactors paid tribute- that was the best part. And so many people! I was hugely gratified to see that. So, thank you all for the im/explicit support. I think about and miss him every day, but it doesn't feel like a dagger in my chest. Nor do I need to torture myself with marathon Pink Floyd sessions. So, I'm getting back on the saddle and donning my food-fairy wings again. There's a lot of hungry people in the world, and I'll always over-estimate how much we'll eat in a given week. I did fall into the trap when I was Bob-focused that I rarely offered to others, but now I feel like I'd be doing more good by not settling on one person or pattern.

The season is definitely starting to turn, despite the recent omg-hot. When I'm on the bike path, I can see a few leaves  here and there turning red. There's more debris from the overhanging trees on the ground, and today, this morning- glorious. I just adore that more insistent coolness that means you want a bit of a jacket, but don't yet need socks or long sleeves all day. So when it turned out my train crapped out at Charles Street, I got to have the best walk up Charles Street then through The Common. Also, this weather means apples are going to be ripe soon. I've seen a few local ones from early harvests in, but they taste too sharp still- not that deep, sweet but tart thing that makes me hunt around for the peanut butter or insist on making crust for pie. We recently got a food mill. It's much fancier than the one I grew up with that only had one grind setting of super-fine. This one will do much more coarse finish, which bodes well for this season's sauce-making.

This is a good segue into mentioning that I'm reading Julia Child's memoir My Life in France. Amazing! But it makes me hungry a lot of the time. And while I'm not likely to go to Paris any time soon, I can focus all that pent up lust for travel on my Italy trip next spring.

Life at home seems to be pretty frickin' awesome of late. He's not much of a LJ writer these days, but I will say that [profile] quiet_elegance  is dealing with a lot of needful and in the end good stuff- after years of stoicism re: bad knee and back, he's making getting better a priority. Right now it's sort of adds up to a part time job given how often he's going to the doctor, at PT, etc. He's been between jobs for over a month at this point, but it really was providential, given how much time he'd have to take off for appointments, so in other words, wouldn't be. Despite the on-going pain, the man is downright chipper and entirely delightful to be around. His attentiveness- presentness- and the schmoop levels may well be lethal. Woe! ;) I'm proud as hell of this new path he's taking. It's like he woke up after years of dormancy.

And apropos of nothing from above, but mentioned previously- things are work seem to be going pretty well. I have actually finished writing up my scripts for my screencast recordings. My software choice is likely to be Camtasia, which pairs with my already installed Jing. Now I just have to start recording. Yay? Actually the best bit was having such positive feedback from my boss yesterday. Really, need to review the whole set of scripts before I try to record. Or practice by reading out loud (not a favorite task, but necessary)
So I should go do that.
mizarchivist: (Let's Dance)
Things loved:
-finding new ways to express staid tradition

Well, here you go. All that and a bag of chips.

After seeing this I rather wish I could get married all over again (to q_e) so we could do this sort of thing too, although having a bunch of backup dancers attendants clearly makes this work better.

Also: my boss was watching this video when I came in this morning. Clearly it's a thing today.
ETA: The song's Forever by Chris Brown.

mizarchivist: (Calvin Sneers)
Could someone protect me from this kind of marriage, rather than the -gasp-! gay threat?!to spare you if you've had enough ranting about this topic )
mizarchivist: (ZeArchivist)
10 years since [livejournal.com profile] quiet_elegance  stood in front of the good Unitarian officiate.
Yep, I think we're doing pretty well at this point. If this is the trend, 20 will be legen...(wait for it, hope you're not lactose intolerant)..dary.

Sep. 26th, 2008 10:01 am

Natal Day

mizarchivist: (Spiffed)
Happy Birthday, [livejournal.com profile] purple_terror !
mizarchivist: (Elmo)
Money managing project is on pause while my brain adjusts to new info. It's neat, but I'm not keen on being obsessive. It gets boring fast. I am pleased with what I have thought of so far and feel rather empowered, so generally a win

Motorcycle project - not entirely certain what comes next, but it's also moving in the right direction. Need to hear back from a few camps at the very least. My goal is to have things sorted, if not wholly done, by Sept/Oct.

I spent the whole day in a seminar on basic skills for supervisors. So, if I didn't have enough from the first two points, now I have work-based logistical things to stuff into an over-stuffed brain. Really cool/useful bits, though. Yay! Now let's see if others at work will find it helpful (like my boss). All day seminars tire me out something fierce, so ...

When I came home to discover that the car that's under my care (caulay's) had one less side view mirror thanks to irresponsible motorist passing by. Oy. It's not quite on par with having to take someone else's kid to the emergency room, but it resembles quite a bit. "Hi, your child flung herself off the jungle gym while she was at school and I was not there to caution or save her. She's alive, but has stitches." Something like that. (eta) But, between this and the seminar: I've not had time to really read LJ today. I mostly was lookin' at pictures and reading headlines. y'all write a lot. Ironic that I'm adding to it. Oh well. If one of you has written something you expected me to comment upon or read or whatever, you'd best tell me directly.

Back to the plus side: I'm going on my honeymoon! 10 years and 1 day after the fact. Secrets Silversands Beach Riviera Mayan in Cancun- a full week in November. I'm satisfied and really looking forward to what feels like my first grown-up vacation. Thank you to all who chipped in some thoughts on my options. I'm happy with the package I was offered. It seemed reasonable to me, and my litmus test of [personal profile] buxom_bey's reaction helped secure that feeling.

Speaking of vacations, in case I'd not said so out loud in LJ land: I'm going to Dragon*Con! My first time- going w. my household and Robin. We're starting to get pretty stoked now that we're less than a month away.
mizarchivist: (GeekLove)
My tears have dried because I have the keys to a shiny new Australia
showing off australia pin
Or a shiny pin of Australia.
You'd think [personal profile] woodwardiocom knows me or somethin'.
mizarchivist: (Fractal)
Thank you to purple_terror for getting me this surreal fleur
tiedye flower

and yes, Kaz did come to mind. :)


mizarchivist: (Default)

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