My 2 cents

[mizarchivist]

The BoS/Judah situation has eaten my brain a great deal over the last few days, even before I came back from vacation. It's complicated and messy. I have a lot of thoughts, most of which I probably will not commit to public electrons right now. But I can scarcely do anything else while I'm so monopolized. I hope at least writing this much will help. [edit: it took an hour to write this...]
So, with that in mind...

1. I moved to Boston in 1997. I was welcomed with open arms at a Beginning of Summer party in 1998 and have gone to at least one of that family's parties every year since, if not more than one.


2. However, I go less frequently. Why? Because I don't like crowds. So Hot Foods is not my cuppa because there's no outside element. My evolving branch of the tribe doesn't overlap the party list as much as it used to either. Nevertheless, it's a place I really enjoy going to see people I'd not see otherwise without a fair bit of effort.


3. I have not been able to wrap my brain around reading all the nuance of this situation. Being away the last most of a week... I just don't have the capacity to comb through it all those comments and all the posts.


4. Which means I am not comfortable wading in beyond this ankle deep place I'm in right now.


5. I have known both sides of this situation for a long time. 1998 for Scott and Rachel, and since before 'Song moved out of Atlanta to here (but not by much... pre 2004, though). yendi slept on our spare bed when interviewing here. Scott and Rachel hosted my baby shower.


6. I have experienced sexual violence. I am "lucky." My perpetrator is dead, I never have to worry about him coming to a party. If so? Clearly we have bigger problems. But I've been there. I fit the part of the population more likely to find myself there again. I'm keen on continuing not to have any more up close and personal experiences.


7. I do not now nor do I intend to have big parties with big lists of people coming into my domain any time soon. I used to try to do this, but I am not of a temperament to deal, nor are my partners. I do know it's a complex thing to have hundreds of people in your domain all at the same time, much less every N months.


8. I have more to say, but given 3, I'd be coming from a place where I'm probably assuming or less informed.


9. I'm left feeling anxious. How can we continue as a complex multi-layered group of communities that from time to time have social functions with each other if someone with my degree of shared history/background/experience is almost wholly unwilling to say more than this on this situation for fear of being torn to shreds?


10. I may be able not to interface with this situation as deeply or directly as I would like, however, I want to clarify that any social gathering I'm responsible for that anyone here reading may be invited to: I feel strongly about people feeling safe. If you do not feel safe while you are at my party, please let me know as soon as you can. I will work with you to come to a preferred outcome. I speak for me, although I suspect my household adamantly shares this view.

Comments

[drwex]

Good on you for posting what you feel comfortable saying.

[mizarchivist]

Thanks for reading.

Ditto

[sweetmmeblue.livejournal.com]

Love ya!

[caulay.livejournal.com]

Thank you for at posting this.

[mizarchivist]

Thanks for reading.

[zzbottom.livejournal.com]

Regarding point number 9: I feel like there is starting to be a second wave of less heat-of-the-moment reactions to things. It seems like now people are taking a more problem-solving, less-heated tone. People are expressing needs and experiences without telling other people what their reactions and responses should be. I feel like this is going to lead to a more productive dialogue. Fingers crossed.

[caulay.livejournal.com]

Here's hoping.

[mizarchivist]

Really hope so. Sustainable community, plz.

[beowabbit]

Thanks for posting this. I sure hope zzbottom is right about #9! I feel a lot of the feels you feel, with the added complexity that my brain was at about 125% capacity about other things before this happened.

[mizarchivist]

Yeah. Thanks for reading. I have been greatly reassured that I wasn't skewered for writing this (exceptionally bland) list of observations. Given how intense things have been, it seemed possible.

I hope you're feeling better today, too, and your brain is at a lower capacity.

(Also, I've been reading original Winnie-ther-Pooh to the kid the last few days, and it makes me think of you....)

[curly-chick.livejournal.com]

This. Yes. Thank you for writing.

[mizarchivist]

Mwah- Hope you're doing well. Ping me about the other thing when you find some brain.

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

Sending you warm wishes, and gratitude for posting this.

[mizarchivist]

Thanks for reading

[jbsegal.livejournal.com]

Thanks for writing, yeah.

[mizarchivist]

And thanks for reading.

[weegoddess.livejournal.com]

Adding to the thanks. And sending a hug, if it's helpful.

(also, agreeing with zzbottom)

[mizarchivist]

Looks like we're getting there.

[keyne.livejournal.com]

I'm listening, and supporting you.

[mizarchivist]

Thank you- it's been very reassuring to have folks check in like this.

[hammercock.livejournal.com]

I read this. *hug*

[mizarchivist]

Thank you

[sariel-t.livejournal.com]

*pebble* Well put.

[mizarchivist]

Thanks. Been a bit skittish while things go boom. :/

[sariel-t.livejournal.com]

Me too.

[sariel-t.livejournal.com]

Me too.