mizarchivist

Jaime broke her heel at work yesterday.  
May need surgery? Won't know til the swelling goes down. 
Immobilized and benched from all major activity for a month, maybe 2.
She won't be able to drive for who knows how long, as it's her right foot. 

The BoS/Judah situation has eaten my brain a great deal over the last few days, even before I came back from vacation. It's complicated and messy. I have a lot of thoughts, most of which I probably will not commit to public electrons right now. But I can scarcely do anything else while I'm so monopolized. I hope at least writing this much will help. [edit: it took an hour to write this...]
So, with that in mind...

1. I moved to Boston in 1997. I was welcomed with open arms at a Beginning of Summer party in 1998 and have gone to at least one of that family's parties every year since, if not more than one.


2. However, I go less frequently. Why? Because I don't like crowds. So Hot Foods is not my cuppa because there's no outside element. My evolving branch of the tribe doesn't overlap the party list as much as it used to either. Nevertheless, it's a place I really enjoy going to see people I'd not see otherwise without a fair bit of effort.


3. I have not been able to wrap my brain around reading all the nuance of this situation. Being away the last most of a week... I just don't have the capacity to comb through it all those comments and all the posts.


4. Which means I am not comfortable wading in beyond this ankle deep place I'm in right now.


5. I have known both sides of this situation for a long time. 1998 for Scott and Rachel, and since before 'Song moved out of Atlanta to here (but not by much... pre 2004, though). yendi slept on our spare bed when interviewing here. Scott and Rachel hosted my baby shower.


6. I have experienced sexual violence. I am "lucky." My perpetrator is dead, I never have to worry about him coming to a party. If so? Clearly we have bigger problems. But I've been there. I fit the part of the population more likely to find myself there again. I'm keen on continuing not to have any more up close and personal experiences.


7. I do not now nor do I intend to have big parties with big lists of people coming into my domain any time soon. I used to try to do this, but I am not of a temperament to deal, nor are my partners. I do know it's a complex thing to have hundreds of people in your domain all at the same time, much less every N months.


8. I have more to say, but given 3, I'd be coming from a place where I'm probably assuming or less informed.


9. I'm left feeling anxious. How can we continue as a complex multi-layered group of communities that from time to time have social functions with each other if someone with my degree of shared history/background/experience is almost wholly unwilling to say more than this on this situation for fear of being torn to shreds?


10. I may be able not to interface with this situation as deeply or directly as I would like, however, I want to clarify that any social gathering I'm responsible for that anyone here reading may be invited to: I feel strongly about people feeling safe. If you do not feel safe while you are at my party, please let me know as soon as you can. I will work with you to come to a preferred outcome. I speak for me, although I suspect my household adamantly shares this view.

No T = No work.
I live next to Watertown, Belmont, and Cambridge so I feel compelled to keep an eye on if they tell me Arlington should duck and cover, too. In the meantime, here we are, wiping yogurt out of Crime Fighter's hair, doing laundry, and making breakfast.

ETA (12:22): primal_pastry and rintrahroars combined households were home, making late breakfast and acting normal, so we went over there for the whole morning. Making crepes while the kids chased the baby, then getting some fresh air out in the back yard til the raindrops threatened... yeah. It also happened to be when nap time was starting to threaten, so here we are. The front porch has 30% less junk on it and is better arranged for bikes.
Life Goes On. 

We are about to lose Windsor Button, not because it was not well loved or well visited, but because they are losing their lease. Well, thanks to everyone flocking there, the sales at Minds Eye Yarn have plummeted in the past month to the point where the dear owner is thinking she may have to close by June if things don't turn around this coming month. We've lost a lot of good yarn stores in the last 5 years, with folks spending less and rents rising. However, I cannot stand by and watch a friend's business and a family member's job just disappear without some fighting. My word from the inside is that $20 can go a long way if enough people are giving a bit at a steady rate. So, if you're a fiber-nerd that doesn't want to resort to what's available at Michael's or AC Moore by July, you will go to Mind's Eye in and over the next week or two and show some love. Please. Pass it on- (Feel free to buy something FOR your fiber loving friend if you are not one of them.)

Before I went off on my own and figured out what chosen family meant to me in that context, I have had plenty of experience with people my parents added to our family.

Martin had been that guy- like a brother to my Dad (who's never had a brother by genetic connection). They co-owned two boats when I was growing up: Snakes and later Random (Yeah- they weren't very purposeful sailors). Most of the construction projects either took on around the house: building my mom's studio in the back yard, iirc- Martin's back deck, the revamped bathroom that had a sauna in our basement- all done because we couldn't be bothered to leave the cookies out for the construction elves. His was one of the earliest numbers I memorized.

For a long time, Martin seemed to be the type who didn't seem like he was going to settle down and be domestic, but Carol showed up when I was still young enough to dig on the Smurfs (Hm, around 7?) -- so, really, she's been around most of the time. When I was 14, Matthew Alan was born, then a few years after, David. Matt was one of the few babies I ever looked after. I probably had most of my diaper experience thanks to him.

Sadly, Martin and Dad didn't really spend much time together the past many years- I did see Carol last time I was in Ohio, which was lovely. But, not so much the big man.
Dad called today to tell me that Martin was in a motorcycle accident yesterday while riding with Matthew Alan- that Martin was killed instantly.

I'm still in shock. I'm angry this happened. I'm frustrated I am so far away and can't be there to focus on feeding the grieving. I regret - as always- I won't be able to talk to him again, or hear his snarky laugh and commentary.


You are already massively missed.

So in case you need a reminder, my biker friends: for the love of all that's good in the world, be careful out there. 

 

My father called me again with that tone of voice. Grammy died last night from a stroke. Alzheimer's took over quite a few years ago now, and she had been having some serious health issues in the past few months, had fallen several times- the usual ailments of those to 90. Aunt Carol had been the primary advocate for Grammy since this all started to happen- the only one who was local in Pittsburgh. It's been tough on her, but she'd been The Pillar of Strength.

Anyway, I know what happens next, I just don't know when I'll be in Pittsburgh. I'm... just here. Can't do anything, can't help. I wish I was already at my parents' house baking cookies or something.

Can this please stop for a while? A month or two? .... No? Yeah, I thought not.

My aunt just posted a video of my grandmother's new residence, an assisted living facility. It looks pleasant enough. There was a brief cameo with Grammy at dinner and it was the first time I'd seen her in anything but photographs for a few years. Please. Let me leave this earth with my wits.

Ok. I just listened to the NPR 7am podcast (all of 4:46 long). It makes me wonder why I get out of bed in the morning.

So with that in mind: tell me something good that's happening either in the world or to you. Or both.

My building manager's grand-niece is 3 weeks old. And has ovarian cancer. According to Carol, Dana Farber has only seen 3 other cases like this.  They're having a benefit game on Saturday, which I can't attend, but I donated a bit anyway. Apparently the insurance is being the big business it is and not covering much at all. Details are on this picture that I'm having a hell of a time uploading...
If you want to donate, info is:


Since I suggested to Carol that she share this with the rest of the tenants in the building, I'm signal-boosting, too.

So, I'd planned on a nice time at Diesel, except my respiratory system had other plans. As lifecollage and I were paying for dinner, I sneezed the kind of sneeze that bodes ill for future breathing. Despite instant application of drugs, it was too late, as it was the sort of bad attack that made me go find an allergist a few years ago. The really bad ones only happen a few times a year, and usually in winter.
Given I was just about a full hour later than I expected, the ZOMG crowd- nay, the wall of people in the back was so disheartening that I almost didn't try to breach it at all, except there were exchanges I really wanted to get done. It's days like this that remind me why I stay away from Diesel Tuesdays. Wall. Of. People.
Thanks to all who assisted me and asked after me in my hour of need. Apologies to those I was unable to properly greet.