mizarchivist

I’ve been giving a LOT of money away lately. At least by my standards. Of course there are more opportunities and need for me to participate further. A list of stuff I've already given money to in the last 1 week to six months:

• floating friend's visit to Boston (not all covered by my own fundraiser for this purpose)


• friends with cancer


• random strangers/kids with cancer who are friends of friends


• friends in the hospital


• Syrian refugees


• Ongoing (small) monthly donations to Planned Parenthood and some Patreon stuff for favorite Youtubers.

Things I have been thinking about that could use more help:

• Friends whose house burned down


• Nerdfighter efforts for Syrian kids


• friend of friend whose currently homeless.

Nope, can’t do it. Can’t give anymore right now. I think I need to start planning X amount a month and just have a list. If something comes in after I've spent that month's allotment, it goes on the list. Chances are better than zero I can wait 3 weeks or so to give to something.

I need to remember at least I can give. I've worked very hard to minimize my outstanding debt. I can give some. I just need to not let my impulses return me to a ridiculously indebted state. ::mutter mutter bleeding heart libreral mutter mutter::

"We don’t have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory"
-Howard Zinn via my father, aint_it_hard

Dad's post earlier today in G+ encapsulates my generic sense of hopefulness today and this gut reaction over the past many weeks and months of having more challenge than I'm remotely comfortable living with. You have to have hope, you just do. And today I have a bit more than I did yesterday, so that alone is a victory.

- water heater being dumb, landlord still in Ireland, so really not the same timezone
+ guy coming this afternoon to hopefully fix it, 
+/- purple_terror's got the latest crud, but he'll be home for sure to let this guy in.
+/- it meant a very modified bathing experience this morning, but I do not feel the worse for wear on that point.
- mzkero's youngest has croup and so Crime Fighter will be visiting with other people for the rest of the week.
+ my reaction to this change in scheduling was primarily epic sympathy for having a sick kid. I've already sorted CF's daytime schedule. 
+ I actually got some rest last night. Sudafed is doing the trick on the congestion, which is good. I am limited in what drugs are reasonable to take. I just have to be coherent enough to redose in the middle of the night. 
- Crime Fighter's nose is officially runny now. Poor little dude. It means awful suctioning things will have to happen later. 
- My hearing is rather impaired today, due to congestion. No pain, just pressure, warped sounds, and everything is way too loud. Yuck. 
+ Despite the head colds all 'round, I'm ramping up my efforts to convince the baby not to eat every time he wakes up in the night. Last night's efforts involved a preemptive feeding at 10 and a non-feeding snuggle at 12. By 2, he was not having such tricks, though. I think that's a bit better.
+ It's payday. It's not my month to pay rent, QE's planning on contributing to the general bills fund Thursday, and the Grandfather Charitable Trust proactively sent some funds to be stowed into the baby's account and mine. When you add all that up, the hindbrain stops gibbering for a few days. 
++this just in, my boss proactively said I only have to count Friday as a half vacation day, because I am going to a professional group board meeting, but then I'm doing Arisia stuff. I thought it was easier to mark it a whole day as "V", but yay! Now it's half! These things add up. And sometimes it's these little things. 
+ Reading. I mentioned it earlier, but really. It's a good book. 
+ The general positive uptick in my head means that the con this weekend doesn't feel like a monumental burden. I'm going to spend some of the time with Crime Fighter with me, and some without. I came close to ditching out on half of the weekend entirely because it seemed to stressful and I was feeling really crappy. However, the stubborn part of my brain kept saying, no. I should do this. I need to go do adult things for a few hours. Remind myself I'm capable of such things. Maybe I'll bring my paints with me (since I'm not knitting right now). 

Just Keep Swimming. 

Hi, new mom here.
I'm feeling sort of raw and figuring my shit out still.

Things I need to figure out how to do-

Not have more than about 1 visitor/day. I get worn out really easily. My ideal visiting times are between 10:30a-2p--- Really a tough window. That window because quiet_elegance is working 5:30a-2p, comes home at 2:30 and is exhausted, dirty and starved.  Oh, he came home with a broken toe today. Stupid fucking drywall. Nothing to be done for it, but his pain levels really didn't need this on top of everything else.
 
Given QE's schedule, I'm on duty 80-90% of the time, mostly because I'm the food source and introducing bottles at this stage is not ideal for Crime Fighter. We'll have to find a better equilibrium eventually, but in the meantime, I'm the go-to, particularly for the night shift.  I'm feeling trapped but my hind-brain is in charge, so can't let the cub out of my sight without it being a serious stress for more than an hour or so (hi, feeding times?) - I realize I have to get used to it, but it seems damn early yet.

No really, discharge papers say: don't drive. I proved that to be true this evening when riding in the back of the mini van brought me to tears from the pot holes. Clearly driving is a shitty idea... but in 2 weeks? Maybe not.

In a few weeks, I'm going to have to start thinking about who'll be watching Crime Figther come November. I can't think about this yet. It's too early. QE's work schedule is the factor still. He's back to work this week after 2 weeks off and he starts teaching union classes next week (M and Thu nights) - both good things and means we can start banking it. The "paternity leave" weeks will be paid... in a month thanks to the delays in unemployment.

In the meantime, my days feel the same: long and then gone and here I am, in the middle of the night and on my own with this child. It's boot camp, I suppose. I feel like I'm doing well enough, but it's tough being sequestered on the first floor, out of my bed and away from my husband for the 3rd week now and until I can carry the child up and down the stairs without being so aware of my incision, I remain here. ... mind you, I've got a routine down here. I will have to figure everything out all over again when I shift upstairs.

OK. At least now I'm sort of tired. Maybe I can fall asleep now that much of that is out of my head.

The sun was out
The nest-egg got deposited in the bank
I interviewed two great interns for the on-going group project
I helped minkrose  decant more boxes, which felt very useful to me and to her.
aroraborealis  hosted (is hosting) what turned out to be a great community interaction- sure, some trolls but overall  serious effort made to make efforts at conscientious conversation. <3

Ohio Governor Proposes Halving State Support; Many Libraries Could Close :

Library aid would be cut by $227 million over two years 

In the meantime,  lifecollage  was just relating how the librarians at the main branch of the BPL (Copley) spent their day off last week on Bunker Hill Day: quoth she: "30 people (eta: SENIOR MANAGEMENT) shelved 70 carts in 8 hours" because apparently having shelvers is not so critical. This was before the cuts started being implemented and they went from 1/2 to 3/4 gone.

Did I mention how much I'm keen on my job? Yeah. It's really good. Even if I have to deal with moldy books right now.

So- Ohio people- spare 5 min. and ping the ones trying to hamstring you? ... 'k. Thanks.

Money managing project is on pause while my brain adjusts to new info. It's neat, but I'm not keen on being obsessive. It gets boring fast. I am pleased with what I have thought of so far and feel rather empowered, so generally a win

Motorcycle project - not entirely certain what comes next, but it's also moving in the right direction. Need to hear back from a few camps at the very least. My goal is to have things sorted, if not wholly done, by Sept/Oct.

I spent the whole day in a seminar on basic skills for supervisors. So, if I didn't have enough from the first two points, now I have work-based logistical things to stuff into an over-stuffed brain. Really cool/useful bits, though. Yay! Now let's see if others at work will find it helpful (like my boss). All day seminars tire me out something fierce, so ...

When I came home to discover that the car that's under my care (caulay's) had one less side view mirror thanks to irresponsible motorist passing by. Oy. It's not quite on par with having to take someone else's kid to the emergency room, but it resembles quite a bit. "Hi, your child flung herself off the jungle gym while she was at school and I was not there to caution or save her. She's alive, but has stitches." Something like that. (eta) But, between this and the seminar: I've not had time to really read LJ today. I mostly was lookin' at pictures and reading headlines. y'all write a lot. Ironic that I'm adding to it. Oh well. If one of you has written something you expected me to comment upon or read or whatever, you'd best tell me directly.

Back to the plus side: I'm going on my honeymoon! 10 years and 1 day after the fact. Secrets Silversands Beach Riviera Mayan in Cancun- a full week in November. I'm satisfied and really looking forward to what feels like my first grown-up vacation. Thank you to all who chipped in some thoughts on my options. I'm happy with the package I was offered. It seemed reasonable to me, and my litmus test of buxom_bey's reaction helped secure that feeling.

Speaking of vacations, in case I'd not said so out loud in LJ land: I'm going to Dragon*Con! My first time- going w. my household and Robin. We're starting to get pretty stoked now that we're less than a month away.

OK. So, who doesn't worry about bills? I'd say nobody. I've always been a bit up-tight about dealing with the monthly financial obligations. I admit that my first act upon winning the lottery (that I don't play) would be to pay off all debt. Start fresh. Then go on vacation.
debsquared  loaned a book to me a week or so ago on coming to grips with this universal issue. I'm writing stuff down to help with my reading comprehension and all that.
My initial reaction to this book is derision and irritation. She spends a large number of words reassuring me. I don't want it. Just give me the suggestions on how to implement your ideas. Clearly I'll need to re-figure out how to skim to make up for this choice of style.
Part of my impatience is that I've already started to do some of the stuff she suggested w/out prompting.


So, that's where I am after 49 pages. I admit to not loving this, but I see many of her points.

I'm jumpy as a cat in a rocker factory today. Maybe I'll feel better after I hear back from the accountant. (I hate tax time)

The allergist is a funny guy. After determining I worked for a progressive (lefty? Yeah I can say that) religious organization and live in Lexington, he regaled me with his opinion about conscenting adults (for) and hypocrital evanelists (against). Further jokes involving my parentage- "I snore like a bastard," says I. "Had no idea parental marital status had anything to do with it." We like him. I go back in a month for my scratch test. Oh, also the woman who performed the breath test asked me if I was really only 5'3". Yes. I really am. Oh. Because your stats are such (meaning good) that the doctor wanted to be sure we had that right. Suuuper Lungs!

So, in the grand total of things re: car. We are getting (drumroll) a new engine, clutch, radiator, and timing belt. Apparently the head gasket blew because the radiator was on the fritz. The engine over-heated and warped the al-U-min-E-um that is the engine block. There was no rebuilt engine to be had, so they have to make the current one work. The clutch was past the half way point to fix, so that gets done. Clearly the radiator needs replacing if it was the cause of the whole thing, and throwing in the timing belt on top of it because the thing is a bitch to do properly, so the Man Who Knows Subarus will make it go proper-like. Must be done. His hourly rates are 1/3 of the dealership (35 range) and all this must be done. It's only money. This, too, shall pass. Could be worse: I could be ugly. And stupid. (That's for doeeyedbunny's granny) Any more aphorisms we want to throw out there?

Unshelved from today
I grin.

On things I don't grin about, I am suffering from a minor bout of feel like I was hit by a truck post-dental visit. ( Read more... )