Mar. 21st, 2006 11:43 am
Getting to know me
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mizarchivistOwners Manual Meme
Stolen from rednikki via drwex. I usually don't do these, unless they help illustrate who I am.
How can I tell if you are angry?
I turn pink, diction is more pronounced, vocabulary is a dead give away. I telegraph my tells, like so many things, pretty obviously. But unless the offense is egregious, I rarely can hold a grudge. I would rather settle things one way or another.
How should I behave around you if you're angry?
I guess it depens on the circumstances. If it's a situation in which you are the cause of my anger, repeated apologies probably not best. In general offering solutions is a good idea. Trying not to get angry in return (if possible), as I'm easily influced by others' emotions.
Also keep in mind environment: I tend to default to angry-space if I'm over-crowded, in a painfully noisy environment and/or hungry. All 3 (like when at Diesel on Tuesdays) is sure-fire bad. Removing all negative stimuli and applying protein then chocolate = full recovery. Yay, food!
edit: additional question- what makes you angry most often?
Some variation of not thinking things through, not taking responsiblity for one's actions, pulling passive-aggressive crap and/or pouty, puppydogging stuff, when with a little effort having a non-emotionally charged conversation about needs or wants is what's needed.
Think. Be responsible. Be as decisive as you can. No surprises. Avoid needless cruelty. Yeah!
How do you want me to behave when you are hurting emotionally? (How is it best to comfort you?)
Again depends on the situation and who's trying to help. Again, my body language is pretty definitive, IMO.
When my grandmother died when I was in grad school here in Boston (and my family all in Ohio), I needed people to keep me company, hugs. Sometimes I wanted to talk, sometimes I needed my friends to distract me for a while with their own stories, or funny stuff, or regular everyday things (like cooking).
Are there things we should not discuss?
In social situations, best to avoid religion and politics if it's going to lead to more contention than useful discussion.
In general for me, personally. I have developed a pretty tolerant sense of humor, but when someone genuinely starts bashing any group of people, I am not really cool with that. Secondly, a lot has to do with set and setting. I don't want to hear about blood and gore/EMT stories during dinner. I visualize things rather well. Most things are up for discussion, but like with anyone, be willing to drop it if I'm not in the mood to talk/hear about it.
How should I treat you if you are physically ill?
Check in from time to time to see how I'm doing. Don't be surprised if I burst into tears over what seems like nothing. I hate being sick and cry easily under that stress. But there's a pretty distinct line between supportive and cloying. Yet again: depends on the type of sick. If you are acting as a caretaker, feed me and make sure the kitchen is not overly gross. Even in this state, that bugs me to no end.
What makes you happy, that's in my power to grant as a friend?
Good lord- lots of stuff! Writing me an email, giving me a call to chat, chocolate, books. I'm very easily amused on many levels, and strangely impervious at other times (I love interesting shaped boxes, but have very little love for stuffed animals, fer example).
How would you like me to recognize your birthday?
I acknowledge and generally like my birthday. If you're close enoguh to me to give me a present, right on. I love presents, but they are a bonus not a requirement. Presents totally include the home made and edible.
Are there any standing categories of presents that would be appropriate or unwelcome?
I have an amazon list of the usual media type. Gift certificates to other media type places, or clothing type stores (Newport News, Lands End, J Crew, Sears, Kohls, Target and the like), Aveda certs always a win since I rarely buy that sort of thing on a whim, but it smells so good!!
The bad: Random dust catchers, cutesy-wootsey, useless trinkets, red roses if you're not someone I'm dating. See? I can be sort of traditional. Despite possible assumptions from what I've said before: I really do love roses, but find them overly cliche for V-Day.
Also sort of bad: if we are not that close and you give me something way expensive, I will feel very uncomfortable. I like the idea of being able to give in kind, and I've yet to reach the give-impressive-and-expensive-gift place in my life.
When in doubt: ask me.
Are there times of the year that are difficult for you? Please explain if you are comfortable.
I dislike the darkest part of winter, but don't feel I'm a major SAD contender. I do hate the overblown quality of Christmas, but if I steer clear of major media, I am usually within reason. Overall, no. I guess I'm not that predictable.
Are there important anniversaries that I should recognize in your life?
Not unless you're my husband. That's pretty much our day and I don't expect much acknowledgement from anyone else. It's how my parents treated it and it carried over.
Also, I'm pretty good at queueing people if I expect certain responses from them if I think it's not obvious. Or even if it is
Who are the most important people in your life to whom I should defer when making plans on your behalf?
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quiet_elegance and purple_terror absolutely most important followed swiftly by a whole buncha awesome friends of varying degrees. Parents are also right up there, but they're not in my social circle as they're farther than a few hours away. Making plans on my behalf? Really and ideally, just ask me. Ask my housemates (previously mentioned above) if you need a clue. lifecollage is also an excellent choice for getting direction. I swear to jeebus, I'm not a control freak! Enthusiast, if you please.
Stolen from rednikki via drwex. I usually don't do these, unless they help illustrate who I am.
How can I tell if you are angry?
I turn pink, diction is more pronounced, vocabulary is a dead give away. I telegraph my tells, like so many things, pretty obviously. But unless the offense is egregious, I rarely can hold a grudge. I would rather settle things one way or another.
How should I behave around you if you're angry?
I guess it depens on the circumstances. If it's a situation in which you are the cause of my anger, repeated apologies probably not best. In general offering solutions is a good idea. Trying not to get angry in return (if possible), as I'm easily influced by others' emotions.
Also keep in mind environment: I tend to default to angry-space if I'm over-crowded, in a painfully noisy environment and/or hungry. All 3 (like when at Diesel on Tuesdays) is sure-fire bad. Removing all negative stimuli and applying protein then chocolate = full recovery. Yay, food!
edit: additional question- what makes you angry most often?
Some variation of not thinking things through, not taking responsiblity for one's actions, pulling passive-aggressive crap and/or pouty, puppydogging stuff, when with a little effort having a non-emotionally charged conversation about needs or wants is what's needed.
Think. Be responsible. Be as decisive as you can. No surprises. Avoid needless cruelty. Yeah!
How do you want me to behave when you are hurting emotionally? (How is it best to comfort you?)
Again depends on the situation and who's trying to help. Again, my body language is pretty definitive, IMO.
When my grandmother died when I was in grad school here in Boston (and my family all in Ohio), I needed people to keep me company, hugs. Sometimes I wanted to talk, sometimes I needed my friends to distract me for a while with their own stories, or funny stuff, or regular everyday things (like cooking).
Are there things we should not discuss?
In social situations, best to avoid religion and politics if it's going to lead to more contention than useful discussion.
In general for me, personally. I have developed a pretty tolerant sense of humor, but when someone genuinely starts bashing any group of people, I am not really cool with that. Secondly, a lot has to do with set and setting. I don't want to hear about blood and gore/EMT stories during dinner. I visualize things rather well. Most things are up for discussion, but like with anyone, be willing to drop it if I'm not in the mood to talk/hear about it.
How should I treat you if you are physically ill?
Check in from time to time to see how I'm doing. Don't be surprised if I burst into tears over what seems like nothing. I hate being sick and cry easily under that stress. But there's a pretty distinct line between supportive and cloying. Yet again: depends on the type of sick. If you are acting as a caretaker, feed me and make sure the kitchen is not overly gross. Even in this state, that bugs me to no end.
What makes you happy, that's in my power to grant as a friend?
Good lord- lots of stuff! Writing me an email, giving me a call to chat, chocolate, books. I'm very easily amused on many levels, and strangely impervious at other times (I love interesting shaped boxes, but have very little love for stuffed animals, fer example).
How would you like me to recognize your birthday?
I acknowledge and generally like my birthday. If you're close enoguh to me to give me a present, right on. I love presents, but they are a bonus not a requirement. Presents totally include the home made and edible.
Are there any standing categories of presents that would be appropriate or unwelcome?
I have an amazon list of the usual media type. Gift certificates to other media type places, or clothing type stores (Newport News, Lands End, J Crew, Sears, Kohls, Target and the like), Aveda certs always a win since I rarely buy that sort of thing on a whim, but it smells so good!!
The bad: Random dust catchers, cutesy-wootsey, useless trinkets, red roses if you're not someone I'm dating. See? I can be sort of traditional. Despite possible assumptions from what I've said before: I really do love roses, but find them overly cliche for V-Day.
Also sort of bad: if we are not that close and you give me something way expensive, I will feel very uncomfortable. I like the idea of being able to give in kind, and I've yet to reach the give-impressive-and-expensive-gift place in my life.
When in doubt: ask me.
Are there times of the year that are difficult for you? Please explain if you are comfortable.
I dislike the darkest part of winter, but don't feel I'm a major SAD contender. I do hate the overblown quality of Christmas, but if I steer clear of major media, I am usually within reason. Overall, no. I guess I'm not that predictable.
Are there important anniversaries that I should recognize in your life?
Not unless you're my husband. That's pretty much our day and I don't expect much acknowledgement from anyone else. It's how my parents treated it and it carried over.
Also, I'm pretty good at queueing people if I expect certain responses from them if I think it's not obvious. Or even if it is
Who are the most important people in your life to whom I should defer when making plans on your behalf?
quiet_elegance and purple_terror absolutely most important followed swiftly by a whole buncha awesome friends of varying degrees. Parents are also right up there, but they're not in my social circle as they're farther than a few hours away. Making plans on my behalf? Really and ideally, just ask me. Ask my housemates (previously mentioned above) if you need a clue. lifecollage is also an excellent choice for getting direction. I swear to jeebus, I'm not a control freak! Enthusiast, if you please.
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