Happy Friday

I am feeling really good.
This is significant. I feel like most of the time in the last 2 months or so, I've NOT been OK. Not at all. I've been able to do some good maintenance lately, and I think all the parts moving together are helping, to wit:

• Upped my prozac from 20 to 30mg. I was expecting a body-load from the change, and...nope. I just feel like me.
• Being mindful about sugar/dessert. There've been a few times I had the choice to have a dessert and I didn't
• Got up and did exercise 3x this week. This has been VERY hard. Also ursa_cerulean has been up for this. Having someone who is participating => accountability
• It's a smidge lighter out
• Advocating for myself and taking yes for an answer. Valentine's is always a bit fraught. I asked for what I wanted and got more than what I expected on the day. I got clarification from partners on what they did or did not want and trusted their answers.
• Relatedly, I am able to talk down my anxiety and self-doubt, my imposter syndrome. When I am convinced my BF doesn't really want to spend time with me I was able to point out ain't no way he's gritting his teeth and seeing me despite his preferences. He's not wired that way.
• Kiddo's been on meds for about 2 weeks now (adderall) - seems to be working very well- still themselves and not a zombie. Just omg, motor-mouth. Moreso. I'm concerned about appetite decrease. When we do our check in with the doctor we'll see what can be done on that.
• Jaime's been amaaazingly present and involved in domestic activities. She had a dip when she forgot her meds for a few days, and that was tough, but coming up to 90 days sober and my lizard brain is slowly coming to believe this may work out.
• Al anon meetings are going well.
• While work remains... not ideal, the actual work itself is good. I've had sustained focus on activities that need to get further done. I've also had the chance to participate in a working group talking about some pretty cerebral stuff within our profession. In my depths of despair, I felt like the biggest fraud. I went anyway and was rewarded with having a great experience and reminders I know what I'm doing, that maybe I ought not give up on my profession re: looking for work just yet.
• So much love from my friends. I <3 you guys.

My long weekend starts in 10 minutes, so that'll have to do.