Nov. 20th, 2003 08:51 am
Surreal beginning for a day
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mizarchivistHey, do you remember the nuns? The ones that almost ran me down several weeks ago while I was in the crosswalk and they were in a car?
Well. They're back.
Here I was, half way across the pedestrian crossing. It's raining so I have my colorful, Tiffany stained glass designed umbrella up, so I *know* I'm visible. Other cars are slowing down.
Here they come up on the outside lane of the road (so farthest from me, stil)-
They didn't even look or slow down. I'm seeing a trend here.
These god wives obviously have a heathen detector in their car. There are not the kindly nuns, but the ruler-wielding ones. They sense my non-catholicness. Ok, my pretty much not christian-ness. They're out to get me. In a passive-aggressive way:
"Oh, I'm sorry, officer. I didn't mean to maime that evil-doer, I mean hapless victim of my inattention. But now that you mention it, you say that she hasn't even been baptised? Well. Good. One less to pollute the god-fearing, blank-eyed, genuflecting darlings we are here to shepherd."
Hm. I think I just was channeling Mark Morford.
So, this is my public service announcement: Watch out for nuns behind the wheel. They'll getcha.
Well. They're back.
Here I was, half way across the pedestrian crossing. It's raining so I have my colorful, Tiffany stained glass designed umbrella up, so I *know* I'm visible. Other cars are slowing down.
Here they come up on the outside lane of the road (so farthest from me, stil)-
They didn't even look or slow down. I'm seeing a trend here.
These god wives obviously have a heathen detector in their car. There are not the kindly nuns, but the ruler-wielding ones. They sense my non-catholicness. Ok, my pretty much not christian-ness. They're out to get me. In a passive-aggressive way:
"Oh, I'm sorry, officer. I didn't mean to maime that evil-doer, I mean hapless victim of my inattention. But now that you mention it, you say that she hasn't even been baptised? Well. Good. One less to pollute the god-fearing, blank-eyed, genuflecting darlings we are here to shepherd."
Hm. I think I just was channeling Mark Morford.
So, this is my public service announcement: Watch out for nuns behind the wheel. They'll getcha.
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be careful out there! ;)
*hugs & kisses*
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It's a dark and stormy night, and they're lost. The rain is pouring down, they can barely see the road.
All of a sudden, there's a *thunk* on the hood of the car, and there's this mini-vampire, holding on to the hood, hissing at them through the windshield ("Hisss! Hiss!") Sister Mary turns to sister Agnes, who is driving, and says, "Quick! Sister Agnes, do something, do something!!!".
So Sister Agnes turns on the windshield wipers to try and dislodge him. But the mini-vampire grabs on to the windshield wipers, and continues to hiss at them through the windshield ("hiss, hiss!"), while being bumped around the hood.
Sister Mary says, "It's not working! Do something else!!" So sister Agnes turns on the windshield wiper fluid, which of course is full of holy water. As it hits the mini-vampire steam starts coming off him, but he holds on tight and keeps hissing at them ("hiss, hiss!") through the windshield.
Sister Mary says, "It's still not working, Sister Agnes! do something else! Show him your cross!!"
So sistera Agnes rolls down the window, sticks her head out and yells,
"Get the FUCK off of my car!!!"
Ahhhhh!
Thanks :)
Just to batt one back to you that you may remember:
What's got 2 legs and bleeds profusely? Half a cat.
Re: Ahhhhh!
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Grass. I lied about the wheels.
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[not even baptised?! It's a wonder you don't vanish in a puff of green smoke whenever someone "godly" drives by].
Watch out for nuns in general, would be my rant. Guilty until proven innocent, the lot of 'em.
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Re: Ahhhhh!
Ok, maybe not.