(no subject)

[mizarchivist]

I just wrote to a friend in G-Chat,

"I was thinking of you and hope you're having a week so far that is one that is reasonable to have (considering how much the world is on fire)"

.....
But it's been on fire the whole time, it's just obvious to me, the white lady who lives in a real nice house in the suburbs.
I feel like it SUCKS that everything is so tenuous, but also how about about fucking time, also.

Anyway.

It turns out that my own life and the state of 2020 is such that it all seems like a lot to journal about.
My personal list of notables for this year in approximate chronological order:

• Catastrophic structural failure to 21 year marriage
• Potentially life-altering injury to soon be divorced spouse
• Loss of most beloved cousin due to overdose
• Cathartic trip to deceased cousin's Canadian city to celebrate his life where I saw family [on the eve of pandemic]
• Most life-affirming first JoCo cruise under the initial crest of COVID-19
• Global pandemic
• Lockdown/quarantine
• Ex packing and leaving 3000 miles away
• Learning how to parent differently- I can't quite say singly because I'm not at all alone-- but very differently-- while in isolation.
• Focusing therapy and working on my own on co-dependence
• The increasingly heinous acts of violence perpetrated by an administration hell-bent on doing whatever it wants and damn the torpedoes (this one has been all along, so really just assume it's every other line)
• The surge of action for #BlackLivesMatter and hopefully will agitate our status quo into positive change.
  
  • inevitable realization of how much more work I need to do in order to live up to being actively antiracist

So yeah. any ONE of those things might make it tough to be coherent and be able to write about stuff. 

I'm not going to try. Just hi- I'm here, evolving, learning, overwhelmed, at peace, creative, reading, more learning, here.