mizarchivist

• answering tech reference questions where I am not an expert, but have no problem walking people through the steps and asking follow up questions
• pulling books for network requests
• admitting when I messed something up and asking for a refresher on how to do it right
• keeping calm under a barrage
• the &^%$ing photocopiers

• Reading as fast as possible: Alisha Rai's The Right Swipe.  I love her passion. She's one of 4 romance authors I follow. (... Huh. Apparently I've not gone on at great length about my 4 favorite romance authors, so will have to do so later.)  I believe hers was the first romances I ever got into and there's a good reason. She just PULLS you in and makes you care about these people. I have a twinge of grumpy about "WHY do you have to be so good and why don't you have more things for me to read that I've not yet read??" 
• Reading to kiddo: Wings of Fire, as fast as we can go- currently on book 9, Talons of Power. Although she asked about Harry Potter 7, which I said we could do after we're done w/ 9. The anxiety I had about the fraught of HP7 diminished entirely because Wings of Fire is bloodthirsty and she's been sturdy throughout.
• Audio book: Mrs. Lincoln's Dressmaker by Jennifer Chiaverini, audio, about Elizabeth Keckley. It pulls a great deal from Keckley's memoirs and from primary sources. It's my first book by this author. I feel like she definitely has a historian's persuasion, but is itching to set the scene and fill in the dialog, so had to rework it into a novel instead of a history. Also, if she did, it'd be a redo of Keckley's work, IMO.
• Podcasts:  Bawdy Storytelling with Dixie de la Tour. Best podcast ever. Go listen. Go support if you can. Savage Love podcast w Dan Savage (per usual- this is a weekly ritual that I never miss)
• TeeVee-- Brooklyn 99 and Lucifer-  I watch with Jaime; Great British Bakeoff - with ursa_cerulean ; So You Think You Can Dance-- season 16?! Dear god... - with tikibar  and ursa; Dear White People season 3, Outlander S1, Queer Eye S4, Madame Secretary S3- those are all mine and on my time-table. + whatever else I'm not thinking of or run across.
• Youtube: I had been a staunch Vlogbrothers fan for years and then got out of the habit of watching their new content. I started back up again this week and they are still so good, so pure. I love them to the edge of the world and back and I'm glad and grateful they are in the world and creating content that they share.  I haven't given up entirely on my other content creator subscriptions, but I'm not going out of my way to catch up on them.
• Misc: whatever drwex  sends me in trailers- a weekly ritual and one of the best bits of Friday (or Saturday if he doesn't share til then)

• I found a therapist that I think actually fits. Now I need to calm down and be patient with the process. But, I see her every Friday and it's a great sign that I think about what she says and look forward to our next session. This was 100% not true of the last therapist, so I'm glad I severed that relationship and found this one.
• My child is turning 8 next week. What even. Second grade- still waiting to hear who the teacher is. So excite!
• I've been sort of on art hiatus, because I can't get purchase on it. I need to jump start that back into life.
• I wrote an article for the local archivist group newsletter. A thing that required I consider a manual of style instead of whatever I want like I do here. It was fun and a challenge

Things that have made me have actual LOL moments at work today, in approximate order

• Cataloging guides and manuals and all the updates to those paper versions, some dating back 25-30 years (and getting to throw them away because they’re ALL ONLINE NOW OK?!) --> filled 2 recycling bins.
• ...Including a copy of AACR2 edition I had in library school (so... old. And not useful)
• The drawers I didn’t know were there because there was framed art in the way
• 3.5″ disks in that set of drawers
• The condom that expired in 2005 in that set of drawers
• Getting a link to my ex-uber-boss’s job description from a friend asking if I want to work across the street from her again. Oh Hell No, Karen.

It’s been a pretty great day of making my space less cluttered. I’m delightfully tired and I’m almost done unframing the set of pictures that had been obscuring the now-empty plastic drawers.  Related? I have a ton of empty frames now that I can theoretically take home with me. Or share with those who need some frames for their art.

(xposted from my tumbr acct)

• exposition- So, yeah! Temp job. It didn't make sense to try to find a gig before Arisia. I mean- it might have been a bad strategic choice from a purely economic POV, but emotionally- worth it. Got to spend most of a week with my mom after that, and then dove into this very temp gig through an agency. I got a call on a Wednesday and started the next morning. Yipes! 
• the day to day-
  
  • It's a receptionist gig in a real estate office in downtown Boston. I make sure the kitchen stays stocked, the phone is answered, conference rooms are booked, and mail distributed. In the vein of Good Eats: I said it was good, not fast: It's within my capacity but has a fair bit to keep track of. But there's documentation and everyone here is very low-key. It helps that expectations for me are pretty low. Those who keep track of me know I'm just there til they find a permanent replacement. I'm polite, attentive, and take correction with grace, ask questions if I need to, and assume everything will work out alright.
  • I'm enjoying this foray into femme armor as part of my routine- I put on makeup and have been doing my nails. Even fun shoes/clothes! It's important that I remember it's really just for me. The others in this office do not notice. At all. ::shrug:: 
  • Being in this public space for the whole day, but not talking to many people or having too many things to do in any given hour is more wearing than I would have imagined. By the time I get home I need to recover from... being ready to be cheerful and helpful at people for many hours at a time. Huh. I certainly have a LOT more empathy for ursa_cerulean and her retail fatigue. Sympathy I had before, but now... no really. I get it.
• lessons learned-
  
  • do not say yes to the gig until you know damn well what the hours are. I'm currently on the 8:30-5:30 shift and not much/any real flexibility about that, as I'm the primary phone answerer. It's a "carry phone with you at all times" while I'm on deck situation. It means I can't do pick up or drop off for the kiddo, and while I do have 3 other adults in the house, it feels gross not being doing my usual 50% of that.
  • I'm hoping to prove I can show up and do the work and maybe land a slightly more interesting temp gig next. Hoping for a few more dollars, lower requirement for strict hours kept, and would like a few more projects to break up my day.
  • I need to keep on this track of No Strings Attached work. I need to recalibrate what normal is, what my limits are. How to stay less emotionally invested in the work. I spent so much time being overly attached and not being rewarded for my efforts at all. I am interested in continuing a survey of general office cultures, getting first hand experience of how things could be or might be. I can't undo 2 decades of exceptionally skewed and not terribly healthy interpersonal as my default professional environment.
  • I am still wrestling with the possible loss of a job that has "archivist" in the title for future employment. I don't want to give up on the idea of that kind of work with that kind of title, but I value other aspects of my existence way too much to sacrifice everything for a title. I say this out loud hoping the irrational bit of my brain that fears not being able to define myself that way will calm down.

• What a kid. There was a moment last night when she observed that I was acting like a grumpypants. I argued I didn't feel grumpy. But I was tired. The interaction was... quite a thing. I feel like there's been a shift in how she relates to others lately- more like seeing and observing/commenting and not just how it relates to her inner monologue. Until last night I'd qualify everyone around her as bit players in her live-running biopic. This might be more of an ensemble soon. It's pretty great.
• Ugh. I need to find a second opinion re: dentist. New dentist thinks she may need a root canal on one of her permanent molars. I'm like whaaa? But the emotional labor it takes to talk to the dentist and find a different dentist to take her to is a high bar to clear right now. (stops updating, calls my dentist, does the thing, because mmmmmmm,yeah- NO.)
• Harry Potter. All the time. (audio/Stephen Fry) -- eh? I can't say I was terribly different at her age. I maybe had more variety in my stories, though.

• advocate for self, not defer self-care in a work environment
• speaking up against oppressive systems
• addressing micro/macro aggressions

• Basic work self care
  • Take lunch or lunch equivalent
  • Don't check email on vacation/after-hours
  • Be strategic in volunteering for projects- don't do all of them
  • Keep track of progress for your own sake (I like to do lists and Toggl)
• Toxic work situation? What to do?
  
  • Keep your resume up to date
  • Participate in mentoring opportunities (esp. if offered through professional org)
  • and/or connect with a person or people whose perspective you appreciate to help think of alternatives
  • Be mindful about being isolated or hyper-focused on work's dumpster fire. Give your brain a break

• Don't let perfect be the enemy of done
• Break down tasks into smaller parts
• We all have lessons to learn in life, patterns to learn or unlearn. Look to your own patterns. The pattern will repeat if the lesson hasn't been learned adequately the first time. Subsequent learning experiences are likely to be progressively painful.
• You don't do anyone favors by working yourself past a breaking point (that's hand in hand with good boundaries!)

• Welcome to my 4 day weekend! One of the few benefits of working for an org that is so closely aligned to a christian denomination.
• I actually read most of the Dreamwidth email that came my way and very much considering giving them dollars to help support their efforts. I really like their politics.
• Thanks to those who cross posted how to get DW and LJ to cross pollinate. I did that thing. I am not planning on nuking my LJ still- it's 15 years old and I just can't bring myself to, but I"m not renewing my subscription. I haven't had the oomph to add more icons yet. Meh.
• It looks like my brain meds are evening out. Thank gods. Prozac FTW
• I'm still dealing with early morning adrenaline situations much of the time, which leads to feeling poisoned and tense and queasy. But hungry. Much of my solution involves drinking more water til I can dilute that feeling and slimfast shakes when I'm doomed. And I'm just eating less. One wondering I've been having is: peri-menopause? I need to check in w my doc. But also given how deeply far gone I was in distress wrt meds, it might just be a body needs a long reset.
• I had a really great meeting with a person who uses the DAMS software I pushed through for work in a huge rush and then looked at it and freaked out. She said almost word for word what my boss said, but since it was a fellow archivist and someone who'd been using the system for 2 years, I believed her. Basically-- I'm fine. Don't try to do everything at once. Yes, the documentation is awful and the training is a joke. Everyone thinks so and have been yelling pretty loudly about it. Just keep swimmin'. So, I can cope. For now.
• The big thing is.... I thought I'd be gone from this job by now. I've not been talking about my job hunt much but I've been in the  market since last spring. My retired (and deeply missed) boss pointed out it can take up to or over a year to find a job esp if you're like me and have a lot of parameters attached (aka: I'm not moving and not buying a car). I hate feeling trapped , and it's really contributed a huge bit to my latest bout of depression. I was doing *fine* this past fall when I felt like I had a great new project (implementing Preservica), then the reality of doing it beat me down. The biggest thing about all this--- I've been at my job for 17 years now. My biggest fear is that this is the only job anyone will hire/keep me for, that it was a fluke that I have this job and I'm actually never going to make it outside my little puddle of a pond where I've gotten so complacent.
• Complacent is maybe not a great word. I have had cycles of deeply complacent, esp. when I worked by myself. But it's also been a haven of opportunity to explore, a place of stability when employment for Jaime has always been hard. There've been down-turns, several... and now I'm looking at a political climate where grants are disappearing faster than you can sneeze. Folks who do what I do are going to be losing work and the jobs that are left are going to be hard-fought for. At least I have a job. Seriously, in the grand scheme, I can live with that for now. I'll keep looking.
• Run out of time. Time to take the kid to kid-care and I have a notion to ride  my bike for a long stretch :)