(no subject)

[mizarchivist]

There is a woman who rides on my bus almost every morning. She's probably in her early 70s, maybe late 60s and has been taking the commute into Boston from Lexington for longer than I have. We rarely speak and I rarely sit near her, as she prefers to put her bag next to her. We both read our paperback novels and if we make eye contact we smile politely.

What I have never had the courage to say to her is that she looks more like my grandmother than her own sister did- at least to my brain. I can tell that she has arthritis from the way she holds the book. It makes the resemblence that much more striking. The shape of her face and the way she styles her hair. And always reading. It pains me to see her, and yet I'm drawn to her like like moth to a flame. I know she's not my grandmother, but she has symbolically become her.

While I was walking the 3 blocks home from the bus stop, I was composing this story in my mind and coming back to the puzzle of how do I express this strange non-connection to this woman whose name I don't even know? If I do, will she think I'm scary? But, ah-hah, I think. I will simply ask her if she is related to < my grandmother >, rather than launch into the emotionally thick issue of "you look like a beloved and dead relation." I am 99% certain she couldn't possibly be. But if she is, what a treasure. Mind you, I would kick myself for not saying it instantly 4 years ago when I first saw her....

ETA 7.20.09: It turns out the woman's name is Harriet and she worked at Fidelity until she was laid off last year. We ended up talking fairly regularly before my schedule changed and then she wasn't on the bus anymore. She's a really nice and interesting woman with - I think- 20 grandkids.

Comments

[moejoesqueegie.livejournal.com]

Scary? What are you cross eyed, disfigured, and angry at the world?

Oh for goodness sake, go talk to her... if you are nervous, sit across from her, then look at her and then approach her and say - - - - - > "You know, if you don't mind me saying, you remind me of someone I know...." And before she can answer ask her if she thinks first impressions are accurate... And then ask her if she is from the area.... And if she grew up there... and see if there is a connection! Never know, loads of siblings never talk to each other. And in any case, show her a picture of grandma and say see? (Keep the photo in your wallet) - I am sure she would LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE Love very much to hear your story and would be fascinated by it. And don't forget to smile! : )

Do it now! NOW! Old people won't be around forever! Life is too short, don't think of her as a stranger, think of her as a valuable friend you have not met yet.

And tell her how valuable your grandmother was to you. (But don't start crying! * bah * on second thought go cry if you feel the need, just bring kleenex : P )


Go. You have a duty and a responsibility to do it. Consider this a karmic kick in the ass. The Universe is telling you something. As the Greeks would say, the past is in front of us, the future blows like the wind from behind us. We can only connect the dots peering from the future. Years from now you'll look back and connect the dots and see this happened for a reason, maybe for no reason then to be nothing.

Go say hello.