Things I end up thinking of in the shower

[mizarchivist]

Only 17-18 years too late.
When I was a kid, I had a great class in grade school. Most of us had been there since kindergarten and while teasing happened, I was essentially left alone, quirks and all. As an only child, the only serious teasing I ever got was when my cousin Jean-Guy was in from British Columbia for the summer, and yet I adored that boy and found the teasing- well, not great, but I could hack it as then there was the playing.
So, junior high came as a bit of a shock. Suddenly things like not having a TV, not sure you believe in god, a short haircut, and/or body hair became a thing.
To note, I got my first TV at 14. The response: "Are you amish?"
I had a haircut similar to the one I have now, although a bit longer (sort of like Mom's in my icon) and with a sleek pre-adolescent physique: "Are you a boy or a girl??" was the recurring theme for the entire 7th grade year. Then I grew my hair out.
The one that really was harsh for me was "goddamn hairy monkey" which is what Bob, the kid in the same homeroom/locker bay, decided to call me when he realized I had hair on my arms. Holy crap, Bob! I'm a mammal! these things happen! Being the sensitive kid I was, I was crushed by his assessment and was unable to come up with a rejoinder witty enough to make him knock it off. So, here I am, almost 31, and I think I finally got a few... well, again. Trust me, this isn't the first time I have rerun this scenario way too late.
"Yes, many mammals grow hair on their bodies. Do you come from lizard stock that this is a revelation to you?"
"Why, Bob! Did you want to compare hair growth? Have you been growing any hair anywhere else you'd like to show me? I didn't realize you liked me that much..."
"No, I really don't want to go out with you. These pickup lines need a lot of work. Next time try chocolates and flowers, OK?"
I admit I sort of wish he'd go to the next class reunion so I can tell him what a little shit he was back then. But really, I know that if he did show up, he'd probably be 200 lbs overweight, 2-3 times divorced and working a crap, dead-end job. And I would rather not mock the pitiful.

Comments

[catness.livejournal.com]

You tell him, sister!

Er, I mean... yes, you're way above needing to retaliate against stupid people. :)

(The biggest 'fuck you' is having a happy and successful life, whether they know it or not.)

[feste-sylvain.livejournal.com]

The only reunion I've ever attended was the 10th high school reunion. And your assessment of the theoretical Bob may be accurate; there were plenty of those.

However, to my pleasant surprise, there were also quite a few "Did I do that to you? Goddam, I was a schmuck. I'm sorry".

[mizarchivist]

I do figure that the reaction you describe is often the case when the facts are presented. I have to wonder how many of them do/did it to make sure that nobody's making fun of them, how many divorces were in process at home? Yeahhhh. Not only does my life rock, but my parents love me and each other, so nyah!

[mycroft.livejournal.com]

Oddly enough, it was just one of those shitheads in high school who inadvertantly taught me the importance of pushing back when I don't feel I'm being treated right. That's made a world of difference in my life.