Feb. 8th, 2018

mizarchivist: (Koi)
I just came back from a capital-M meeting (al anon) and I am reminded that going to Meetings is very high quality maintenance. It lets me re-evaluate and feel safe to talk about what I'm working through in a safe, environment. In this case "safe" means I'm more likely to show myself compassion, as well, because it's part of the ground-rules of being in that space.

The struggle is enough for me that it's worth repeating myself and circling back on self care. I was glad to see [personal profile] aroraborealis post about self care links yesterday. Nothing really jumped hard out at me that I desperately wanted to try, but I expect to come back to it again later.

Opt in, casual survey--
What are you struggling with?
What are you doing to maintain yourself lately?

For myself,
Struggle---I'm struggling with finding balance in ... everything? With a partner not yet 3 months sober, I have my own recovery to consider. I'm re-evaluating everything and breaking old habits as much as I can while feeling fractured and worn. My depression and anxiety too often take over and I feel hopeless and helpless and trapped. I desperately and emphatically want to have a different job, but not so much that I'm willing to sacrifice the comforts I have. In fact, I would prefer to expand the comfort. So, I'm here, in a position that's safe and familiar, but full of triggers, toxicity, and stagnation.

Care---
  • I am prioritizing writing and interacting with folks here. It's always been my preferred means of connecting. FB is easy and fast, but not filling. (ba dum chh?)
  • al anon meetings
  • art (really did want to stay home and paint a scarf this morning)
  • quality escapism fiction (Rose Lerner, I heart you)
  • taking my meds/vitamins
  • using my CPAP even though it feels weird and oogie
  • TRYING to do ANY exercise (today was successful)
  • figure out how to say no or find a different way to participate if the default is harming me
  • keep reminding myself to be kind and compassionate. To myself. If I say it enough, will it stick?
  • be OK with small progress
You?

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mizarchivist

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