Maybe it is a miracle I survived my adolescence

[mizarchivist]

Thanks to doeeyedbunny for this link. Why Nerds Are Unpopular. It explains so much of the misery, it really does.

Comments

[sweetmmeblue.livejournal.com]

In my high school the really academically smart kids were the "popular" ones and the nerds were the ones who weren't attractive, scored lower in the class, or who refused to conform.

[doeeyedbunny.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, I'm surprised our schools weren't more similar. In my high school, there were some academically smart kids who were popular, but they were also good looking and or athletic to boot. The rest of the popular kids were the usual jocks/beautiful people/trendoids.

(I, of course, was neither nerd nor popular. I was a freak. Being a deadhead in a yeshiva lends distinction.)

[randysmith]

Wow. I'm glad I clicked through that link. Thank you.

[sauergeek.livejournal.com]

It's important to realize that, no, the adults don't know what the kids are doing to one another.

I think this particular point is a bit off. Most of the adults do not remember, because they were not in that D group. I still remember clearly the crap I went through in junior high. For me, seeing a junior high school nerd getting dumped on would not be surprising. Depressing, sure, but not at all surprising.

[kebbykate.livejournal.com]

I finally took the time to click through and read. I think he's right on the ball.

I've often thought that middle school should be abolished and kids should be assigned community service work or apprenticeships. What if classes of middle schoolers built houses for Habitat? There aren't many Montessori middle school programs available, but what the kids do there is run a working farm, putting all their math, reading, and science skills to work on a daily practical basis.

My high school environment gave great prestige to the academically talented, but middle school was tough. It was all about the clothes and there was just no way to keep up. I've never had any athletic ability. I wasn't enough of a poseur to get in with the theater kids. (I had real problems at home, two, then three, much younger siblings who needed my time and attention because my parents were too poor and distracted to parent them properly.) So I concentrated on doing well as well as I could and going off to college someday. Where I still wasn't popular, but neither was I an outcast. We just didn't have time for it in college.

[docorion.livejournal.com]

Huh. Thanks for that; I mailed it to my sisters, two of whom are either in the midst of being, or about to become, parents of children in that age group. (The third has younger kids; she'll get there someday).

I came to the conclusion that school was makework in middle school, and rebelled for a while mostly because it was deathly boring. This was my crap grades period :-) Then in high school it became interesting as a system I could game, and I was much happier. (A peer group of smart but not particularly popular kids was helpful; we competed against the academic material instead of one another).

[lightcastle.livejournal.com]

This reminds me a lot of an article describing the similar effect of prison. (It's pointed out here with the whole bit about how when you have nowhere else to go, you make a hierarchy out of nothing.)