Don't talk to me about the sanctity of marriage

[mizarchivist]

Could someone protect me from this kind of marriage, rather than the -gasp-! gay threat?!

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I received an invitation from a family member to attend their daughter "Heidi's" wedding on Father's Day weekend. We canceled our existing plans in order to attend, and gave "Heidi and Dave" an appropriate gift. As the ceremony progressed, the minister asked, "Do you, Steve, take Heidi" ... at which point the guests began whispering to themselves, "STEVE?"We were embarrassed, thinking we had made a horrible mistake in addressing the gift card -- and we weren't the only ones. Finally, after much discussion among the guests, someone approached the bride's mother to ask if we had made a mistake. "Oh, no," she replied. "Dave backed out two weeks ago. Heidi asked Steve if he would marry her, and he said he wasn't doing anything else this weekend, so why not?"
I was flabbergasted. Predictably, in less than three weeks, this sham of a marriage was over. Heidi, of course, retained all the gifts.
My wife says it's no big deal. I say the bride's parents should have called the guests and explained the circumstances so they could make an informed decision about attending. I was also raised to believe that in cases such as this, where the commitment to marriage was so obviously missing, that the gifts should be returned. Am I wrong? This has caused a rift in the family. -- JILTED GUEST

DEAR GUEST: It appears that Heidi and her parents became so involved in the details of the "production" that they forgot the real meaning of the wedding celebration -- the joining of two people together in a lifetime commitment to each other. Frankly, I am shocked and disappointed that a minister would go along with such a farce, much less "bless" it. (Could the clergyman also have been a stand-in for the real thing?)
Yes, the wedding should have been called off when the groom backed out. Yes, the guests should have been notified. Yes, any unopened or unused gifts should have been promptly returned. And no, you're not wrong.

Really sanctified there, hets. Thanks.

Comments

[also-huey.livejournal.com]

Every divorced person, at one point or another, says the same thing:
"I dunno. It seemed like a good idea at the time."

-- Huey, currently looking for Ms. Good Idea At The Time the Third

[dbang.livejournal.com]

I'm sure the wedding was really Heidi and Stephanie and the writer just changed the genders to avoid controversy.

[cad-red-ducati.livejournal.com]

my goodness, are those people for real? keeping the gifts was so tacky.

Icon used ironically

[wurmwyd.livejournal.com]

Hi there!

See, and I didn't see it as necessarily "Angling for gifts". For some absolutely insane reason, once women reach a certain age, their wedding becomes an obsession for them. I don't know why young boys grow up dreaming that one day they can be an action hero in a blockbuster movie of their own lives, and women grow up dreaming that one day they can get a single male to legally possess them.

But my own wifey (whom I refuse to claim any ownership upon) always watches shows like Bridezillas and Say Yes to the Dress, and I'm amazed that even in THIS day and age, there seems to be no end of women who are so obsessed with their own marriages that it seems that the male involved is actually incidental. I watch these shows thinking: "Really? You've not stopped arguing with this man since the episode started! This is the love of your life with whom you're willing to enter into a legal contract binding yourself forever?".

But it's never really ABOUT the guy. It's about getting to the ALTAR and having some guy in a funny dress say some magic words and [POOF!], she's suddenly validated as a human being. It's actually very creepy when you think about it. [shudder]

Re: Icon used ironically

[mizarchivist]

... yeah, I actually have nothing other than even more derision and grumpitude and the desire to use my own icon.

Re: Icon used ironically

[sparkymonster.livejournal.com]

Someone I know, who had a lovely wedding, said one of the problems is that for many people THE WEDDING is the only time they throw a big party or are at a formal social event. So they lose their entire mind over it because this is the one big chance omg omg omg. Madness.


My brother is getting married in TWO WEEKS WTF. Anyway. His bride to be said I could wear any style of dress I wanted as long as it was purple or silver, and not patterned. She said "I don't need to control you hair, what you wear on your feet, or how you do your hair."

I love her so much. Seriously.

Re: Icon used ironically

[mizarchivist]

My lieutenant gave birth 5 days after my wedding. I didn't even tell her color *grin*- It was a thing, sure- but I think the only time I went bridezilla was when I got cream colored towels. Cream?! Oy. :)