Out of my comfort zone

[mizarchivist]

Today was day 2 of a 3 day class for work. The class is geared for people using a markup language built for books/lit. I have gotten an intro into a markup language for archival description.Both are XML languages, and the whole point is how does one take content, run it through a stylesheet in XSLT and come out with a product (usually HTML). The similarities between the two types of XML is on par with Italian vs. Spanish. But they're talking technicalities within the language that they all can take for granted that is beyond-over my head. So, the fact that I'm getting even 50% of what's going on is sort of like some amazing bonus. I feel like I'm actually maybe getting closer to 70%, even. It's just the last segment of today was complex enough that by the time I was irretrievably lost, they had been talking about it for easily an hour, and no way I was coming back from that. Even so, I had the general idea of what the topic was trying to convey, it's just how it's executed was blargle-blargle-word-word-wah-wah-wahhhhh. Fun aside: while describing the first day to fubar, apparently this is a bit of tech he's not had to deal with, so maybe for the second or third time in my life, I got to explain a techie thing to him. That was an amusing and unexpected turn.

My goal for taking this class is to understand the structure and options within using style sheets so that when we start making our own from our data management software or customizing templates from other institutions, I will have the mechanics, even if I'm not going to understand all the details within elements, blah blah blah.  I will not have to turn around and immediately use this information tomorrow or even next month. We have a team with members in who're much more likely to be taking lead on whatever style sheets we go with.

With that in mind, I've been more at peace with not really getting it. Still, it's hard, and I'm grateful for the instructor who sat with me through lunch yesterday to untangle things for me, and she did a reprise this afternoon helping me at least get a few more concepts on the section that was jibberish. It's been hard not to feel like I don't deserve the extra help, because the impostor syndrome doesn't feel so much like syndrome as fact. I've been actively stopping myself from apologizing for monopolizing an instructor's time, rather I say thank you and try to believe that it's OK that I'm there. And sometimes I actually believe it. Once again, it's the internal dialog that is possibly way more valuable than the course curriculum. Those of you who have known me... ever, know or can guess that this kind of situation would not yield the relatively graceful/zen state. More like freakout.

Anyway, I hope any of that translates.  It'll have to do, I have a book to finish before bed. 

Comments

[veek.livejournal.com]

Hey, if you ever want to get together in the daytime (even by Skype) and talk XSLT, I'm your gal. :)

[minkrose]

A quick note from the teacher's perspective: when I am trying to explain technology things to people, having someone who is willing to thoroughly explain what they do not understand is helpful to ME -- I don't always know what people don't get, and understanding which parts are confusing will help me teach it/explain it better next time. So, the process of really helping someone understand something is both satisfying and helpful for future better-teaching. Always worth my time, at least. :-)

yes but

[mizarchivist]

"the last 1 1/2 hours" would have been the confusing part. To give them detail would mean that I had the presence of mind to make a note the moment I got lost, when I was busy trying to just listen and figure out if I could get it within the next sequence.

Seriously, I kind of have no business being there from the perspective of these people (except for me and my coworker) use TEI. I have had one 2-day class on EAD, and do not yet use it at all. I'm not about to drag the whole class down with "What is a tree" on a class about making topiaries. The instructor helping me most said that the class wasn't filling up so they had the luxury of including me/us. If there had been more TEI-actual-users, they probably wouldn't have accepted by application.

Re: yes but

[minkrose]

I was responding to this part:
"I'm grateful for the instructor who sat with me through lunch yesterday to untangle things for me, and she did a reprise this afternoon helping me at least get a few more concepts on the section that was jibberish. It's been hard not to feel like I don't deserve the extra help,"

Though I also agree with you; trying to figure out the MOMENT in class where you are officially lost is an impossible task, especially since I find sometimes my understanding comes in waves (and recedes, and returns). I wasn't trying to suggest that during class was the best time to do this, I was saying that I'm sure the instructor got a lot out of talking to you during lunch, etc.

I took an Intro to Python class last month, and there was one section that made no sense to me -- I was going to just skip that bit because I don't really NEED python, I'm just vaguely interested -- but the instructor came over and asked how I was doing on the example problem and I had to admit it made no sense, and asked a couple questions... at which point two other students came over and said "it doesn't make sense to us either." So, good for the instructor to know that this is a weak point in his lecture for new programmers.

Re: yes but

[mizarchivist]

Sure, fair enough, of course... One tries of course to provide feedback under those circumstances.