May. 27th, 2015 11:20 pm
Let's not mince words [momland]
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mizarchivistI listened to the recent This American Life called "Birds and Bees" which discussed making babies, racism, and death. What adults say to kids, what kids say to each other. All these things are things I need to deal with at some point, and given the adventerous nature of my progeny, the death one is a theme for this week.
About why I am so angry and afraid when he runs that close to the road. Since apparently "Because I said so" is never ever going to be a good enough answer.
Tonight's: why we don't put plastic bags on our heads, ever. And what is breathing and why is that important.
My 3 year old answer to what is death-
your body stops working and then you're gone and you never come back because you are dead. I'm not gussying it up. Not "pass on" or "pass away." I've never been fond of those euphamisms. Ech.
It's awful. But also?? How about we not put plastic bags on our heads and not run headlong at traffic?!
On the plus side, I'm trying to be more mindful about being way more present and playing with him. He's getting great at playing Spot It. Our Calvinball version of it at least. And he's learning about the concept of Time Out in the sense of "done with that/too much" aka, kid safe-word.
About why I am so angry and afraid when he runs that close to the road. Since apparently "Because I said so" is never ever going to be a good enough answer.
Tonight's: why we don't put plastic bags on our heads, ever. And what is breathing and why is that important.
My 3 year old answer to what is death-
your body stops working and then you're gone and you never come back because you are dead. I'm not gussying it up. Not "pass on" or "pass away." I've never been fond of those euphamisms. Ech.
It's awful. But also?? How about we not put plastic bags on our heads and not run headlong at traffic?!
On the plus side, I'm trying to be more mindful about being way more present and playing with him. He's getting great at playing Spot It. Our Calvinball version of it at least. And he's learning about the concept of Time Out in the sense of "done with that/too much" aka, kid safe-word.
Tags:
You are still awesome
Pygment tells me she remembers having these "kid don't kill yourself" conversations with the kids. Particularly with Mr Pull-Burning-Liquids-Off-The-Counter-Let's-Eat-This-Random-Mushroom-We-Found-in-the-Backyard. All I remember is the sheer panic.
If there is one thing comforting I can say it is that Thing 2 (claims to) remember these incidents. I don't know how far that will go to keeping him alive when he's no longer within arm's reach, but it's a thought.
Re: You are still awesome
I know it'll be OK. What I particularly remember is going to a funeral in my early 30s and having so many people just be unable to deal. I mean, sure: funeral for someone who shouldn't yet be dead. But also, our society is very insulated from death and we don't talk about it plainly. It's cutesied up or glammed into a video game or smeared onto the news. None of it is real.
I think it's a disservice to a kid to "protect" them from something so wholly that they are presented with a relatively normal situation and they lose their minds. I dunno. Thing? (I'm a little ranty this morning)
Re: You are still awesome
I am in sympathy with your rantiness. I feel like the whole "helicopter parent" thing has skewed the entire way we're supposed to treat kids - either we wrap them in bubble wrap for 18 years or we are neglectful. Where's the middle ground?
I seriously want to lend you "It's Complicated", danah boyd's book that I reviewed on LJ a bit ago. I think you'd really mind-vibe with it.
sure