Funnily enough

[mizarchivist]

• The therapist encouraged me to tell New Insurance that I'm in crisis and cannot reasonably give up my therapist who's out of network right now. OK, worth a shot. (oh yeah, meant to do that)


• She also made me talk to the family at the same time with my outside voice to explain the degree of Not OK I am right now. Which I did and the world didn't end.


• We are going to use a feelings board (like in pre-school) to help everyone know where others are in any given day. Asciikitty's going to come up with the board part with feels. I made (clay) magnets for everyone (of course).


• Tomorrow I'll likely see about upping my meds to help me deal.


• I have a hard time admitting that what I'm going through is a really big deal and extreme and super hard- I'm not literally on fire or a half a million other horrid things, so I should just .... (and here I trail off). But every time I see my therapist, who is a professional helper person and everything and her job is to be knowledgeable on such things, she points out this is a big deal, hard, and full of pretty intense, exhausting, and anxious-making things. So, it might go better to stop expecting myself to have the capacity of a not-stressed person... Like, don't be this guy:

TL:DR... working on it.

Comments

[drwex]

It is totally a big deal. Very Big Deal. Life-changing, shocking bolt-out-of-the-blue big deal. Life-changings, sbootb, can I interest you in a ride you can't get off of with unknown dips and twists ahead big deal.

I'm glad you were able to communicate with the family and I hope it helps.

I love you, and you all, and if I can do more supporting things I would like to try, clueless as I may be.

[ckd]

It is a Big Huge Deal indeed, and having a difficult time with it does not make you weak, or bad, or a failure. Just human.

Last weekend at Penguicon I had a conversation with an acquaintance who's going through a very similar Big Huge Deal. I said that I couldn't offer any advice of my own but that she wasn't alone, and that I wished we were meeting at Arisia instead of Penguicon because then I'd introduce the two of you to each other so you could both feel less alone. If you think it'd be helpful to you, I can check with her and (if she's also interested) connect you on FB or something.

[woodwardiocom.livejournal.com]

[hugs]

*love and support*

[omly.livejournal.com]

You are all in my thoughts.

Stoic is for suckers

[sweetmmeblue.livejournal.com]

We talked about this over dinner. We've both been trying to be stoic in our suck. We're so used to being the strong ones holding everyone together that we stop remembering it's ok for us to NOT do that.

MORE HUGS and much love.

[mizarchivist]

Sure, hook us up. Thanks :)

[trowa-barton.livejournal.com]

Sympathies, especially as someone who has been stoic in the suck for years.

[42itous.livejournal.com]

*big hugs* If you want to come over and vent, with or without kiddo, poke me anytime.

[dreams-of-wings.livejournal.com]

Listening. Kinda having a hard time getting outside my current life to do shit to help right now, but listening, and caring, from over here.
*hugs*

[mizarchivist]

Yep. That's me with everyone else. I feel like the immediate circle is pretty solid, at least. Thank you.

[caulay.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Feel free to vent at me if you feel so inclined. I can at least listen.

[ceo]

Here and listening.

[tamidon.livejournal.com]

being strong is not the same as being stoic, you are strong, but don't need to be stoic to prove it

Loads of hugs

[mizarchivist]

truth

[veek.livejournal.com]

Listening from over here. I'm a bear of little strategic brain these days, but am good for tactical (within my means). If I can help in practical ways, please let me know. Otherwise, I'm just here on your periphery sending you love.

[mizarchivist]

What you have is enough. Thank you for the love and support. It's good to know that I'm not screaming into a void and nobody can even hear me.