Feb. 11th, 2005 09:37 am
Nostalgic rambles
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mizarchivistlast week, I got 2 packages in the mail filled with a donation. The contents is not the focus, but the boxes themselves
First, the origin was Athens, Ohio- home of Ohio University, my alma mater. OU is in the middle of nowhere in the SE corner of the state (NOT Columbus, folks.) The favored pastimes of the students: smoking (whatever they can) and drinking. About 12 or more bars in the downtown area alone.
The boxes: Bud Light and a corrigated cardboard with "Cajun Mix" in red sharpie. That pretty much sums it up.
However, that's just the trigger for what I've been really thinking about. The past. At least looking back at it now, I really loved my time as an undergrad. I am pretty sure I entirely undervalued it, but too late now, right? The moment and its trappings are gone and cannot be remade. And the fact that I know this and accept it make me grateful. I know for a fact that I cannot visit the place and expect to feel the way I want to. I want to visit a time, not a place. So, I feel sad for its loss, but not trapped by it. I run the technicolor slide show of places and events in my mind- try to remember the color of the carpet in my last apartment (seafoam green), the sound of Our Smiling Jesus Band or Mary Adam 12 playing in a smoky bar- many conquests of many types and the staggering fuckups. It's who I was and it's who I am.
So, if I can't go back, I hope I will at least remember after I'm done writing this to make the most of right now.
First, the origin was Athens, Ohio- home of Ohio University, my alma mater. OU is in the middle of nowhere in the SE corner of the state (NOT Columbus, folks.) The favored pastimes of the students: smoking (whatever they can) and drinking. About 12 or more bars in the downtown area alone.
The boxes: Bud Light and a corrigated cardboard with "Cajun Mix" in red sharpie. That pretty much sums it up.
However, that's just the trigger for what I've been really thinking about. The past. At least looking back at it now, I really loved my time as an undergrad. I am pretty sure I entirely undervalued it, but too late now, right? The moment and its trappings are gone and cannot be remade. And the fact that I know this and accept it make me grateful. I know for a fact that I cannot visit the place and expect to feel the way I want to. I want to visit a time, not a place. So, I feel sad for its loss, but not trapped by it. I run the technicolor slide show of places and events in my mind- try to remember the color of the carpet in my last apartment (seafoam green), the sound of Our Smiling Jesus Band or Mary Adam 12 playing in a smoky bar- many conquests of many types and the staggering fuckups. It's who I was and it's who I am.
So, if I can't go back, I hope I will at least remember after I'm done writing this to make the most of right now.
