![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mizarchivistAren't I posty? Doing this is more interesting for than the file folders.
So, apropos of a friend announcing her pregnancy: My initial reaction upon hearing this news from someone who is either a peripheral friend, or someone I just haven't talked to enough to know if They're Trying, is almost never happiness and excitement for this person. I feel a need to determine if this turn of events is good or bad news. And when musing about it, I think I have pretty good reasons being:
1. I'm not a parent myself and until very recently, if I were the one who was giving the news, I'd be wondering about how I'd be able to manage this.
2. Three of my closest friends from childhood were pregnant before they were 21. For two of them, this was not a good thing. They (all) have beautiful daughters. All of them now have multiple kids and supportive partners, which is an improvement over the first days.
3. Parental influence- I just got off the phone with my mom in the middle of writing this, and I had related the news of friends and my reaction. Apparently she does the same thing. I'm very amused by this.
I try for something in between: "omg this is the best thing evar" and "um, sorry?" - I am pretty sure I've offended or disconcerted news givers in the past. If nothing else, I feel awkward about my default reaction. Hey, I just realized I've been informed of two pregnancies so far this week. The parents in question seem quite pleased by the turn of events, so I can offer my unstinting congratulations.
ETA: Ok, I guess I'm not as alone on this one as I thought. That's a bit of a relief, really.
So, apropos of a friend announcing her pregnancy: My initial reaction upon hearing this news from someone who is either a peripheral friend, or someone I just haven't talked to enough to know if They're Trying, is almost never happiness and excitement for this person. I feel a need to determine if this turn of events is good or bad news. And when musing about it, I think I have pretty good reasons being:
1. I'm not a parent myself and until very recently, if I were the one who was giving the news, I'd be wondering about how I'd be able to manage this.
2. Three of my closest friends from childhood were pregnant before they were 21. For two of them, this was not a good thing. They (all) have beautiful daughters. All of them now have multiple kids and supportive partners, which is an improvement over the first days.
3. Parental influence- I just got off the phone with my mom in the middle of writing this, and I had related the news of friends and my reaction. Apparently she does the same thing. I'm very amused by this.
I try for something in between: "omg this is the best thing evar" and "um, sorry?" - I am pretty sure I've offended or disconcerted news givers in the past. If nothing else, I feel awkward about my default reaction. Hey, I just realized I've been informed of two pregnancies so far this week. The parents in question seem quite pleased by the turn of events, so I can offer my unstinting congratulations.
ETA: Ok, I guess I'm not as alone on this one as I thought. That's a bit of a relief, really.
Tags:
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
"..."
"Wow."
She said "THANK YOU for having the only appropriate response to that I've heard. Everybody else is *so happy for me* and I'm just not even sure I want to go there yet. I don't know what I'm going to do."
For some women, breeding is the end all/be all to their existence. Their lives are a buildup to that point, and that's where their focus is. However, most of the women in my immediate and preferred social circle are not motivated in that direction, at least not unilaterally.
(Edit: That's her arm in her race leathers on her bike (a duplicate of mine) in the icon.)