One step forward

[mizarchivist]

I'm having a hard day (again). Yesterday was hard, too.
Now I'm staring at the screen and don't know what to say, that whatever I say will be dumb.

I am trying to remind myself that this transition thing is not a linear progression. There's backtracking all the time, and I feel like I'm in a backtrack spot.  Nothing helped by a double-dose of PMS and a heaping blanket of "I hate February, because it's cold and gray."

But. We have a visitor this weekend, Tom from the UK. He's one of our favorite people and he's staying at our house and hanging out, drinking tea, and telling ridiculous stories. It's good.

Anyway. note to self: it'll be OK. You'll feel better soon. Treat yourself more kindly. DEPRESSION LIES.

Comments

[drwex]

*hugs* Tag me any time.

[mizarchivist]

Thanks- I appreciate it

[woodwardiocom.livejournal.com]

You've been impressing the heck out of me lately. Depression lies like Liar McFalsehood from Prevarictown.

[mizarchivist]

Depression lies like Liar McFalsehood from Prevarictown.

Hah. Well said.
And thanks. I'm feeling like I'm doing relatively well overall. Even when that means I'm not having a good time of it right now. The basic structure is one I can do. It's just adjusting and being reasonable at myself. Or trying to.

[ckd]

Fuckin' depression.

You are heard, you are cared about by many people, and you are wonderful. No matter what depression tries to tell you.

[mizarchivist]

The depression sub-routine is doing its best to trot out its favorites. It feels like a dialog where the depression brain will lie about a thing and my not-depressed part of my brain will reply with that's not true. I feel like not-depressed got through it but is weakened immensely by the effort. It means I have not a whole lot before I'm freaked out. I will take a shaky victory over no victory.

[ckd]

It can be a hell of a fight. Hoping you can get a break.

[mizarchivist]

Seems likely- and mayhap the depression snuck up on me a bit and made me forget to do the cranial upkeep I need and maintenance. You know? Sigh. Rally rally rally!

[weegoddess.livejournal.com]

::quiet hugs::

You know what's real better than depression does.

[mizarchivist]

See above comment: won this time, but oh lordy do I need some recovery time to regain some strength.

[fidgetmonster.livejournal.com]

::hugs::
Always thinking of you and wishing you well. Say hi to Tom for me.

[mizarchivist]

Thanks, sweetie and I'll tell Tom hi. :)

[caulay.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[mizarchivist]

Thanks, appreciate it

[lifecollage.livejournal.com]

I hear you, and send all the *hugs*

Maybe as you go through the backtrack spot, you can notice something you didn't the first time through?

[mizarchivist]

Maybe as you go through the backtrack spot, you can notice something you didn't the first time through?

Exceptionally likely. Fine tune and re-calibrate.

Hadn't read this yet

[sweetmmeblue.livejournal.com]

I didn't know about this when I pinged. I pinged because I love you and was thinking about you. You've been there a lot for me the last 2 weeks. I now have the spoons to be here for you if you need me.

Re: Hadn't read this yet

[mizarchivist]

It's all good. I'm already feeling better than I did this morning. I am hoping one more solid sleep will reset my nerves. I did some amazing art this evening and I'll have a chance to present it to the one who commissioned it this weekend ::cough cough:: if I can apply the finish and have it dry in time, which seems likely. In other words: Yay!!!!

Thanks for being there :)

[hammercock.livejournal.com]

Lies like a rug, ayup. *hug*

[mizarchivist]

Thanks. :)

[sariel-t.livejournal.com]

*pebble* *hug*

[mizarchivist]

Thanks- definitely feeling a lot better today :)

[curly-chick.livejournal.com]

::thinking of you::

[mizarchivist]

Thanks :)