In light of ongoing conversations about what to to about GamerGate, I've had more thoughts. Like in many big and uncomfortable conversations about various Isms, it's exceptionally easy to fall into an Us and Them camp. They're monsters. Trolls. Gorillas... something other than evolved and evolving human. I am not the first or the last to take the time to point out that dehumanizing and Them-ing is a fantastic way to perpetuate what's broken. The "them" get a free pass because they can't help it, can't possibly be reasoned with, change, find empathy, so why bother? ...
It's easy to go there. Just about the whole society is built around going there. Popular culture/movies/books they are all about big, dramatic stories with obvious villains and heroes. "News" outlets (ones that go ringading ding ding gering a ding ding, for example) will manufacture ways to make it us and them. In the heat of the moment, living with instant gratification of the internet? Sure, it's easy as hell to go there. So let's be subversive and not make that the first stop on the hyperbole train. Keep subverting that dominant paradigm.
Because let me tell you how we are all evolving. None of us are exempt from those moments of- not thinking something through, not comprehending the consequences of actions or attitudes. Let me tell you how I want to craw under a rock and never come out when I look back at how wholly ignorant I was about, say, being trans. But more than just that, on sexism and misogyny. On racism. (I could go on) I'm mortified by what I used to be. I would like to believe that I am a generally good person who is trying to do right by my community and myself. And I am grateful for the opportunity to NOT be that person I was 10 years ago. Or even 5 years ago. I'm grateful that my friends are willing to nudge (or bonk) me towards a more enlightened path. And I know I have room to learn more, I'm not remotely done. I realize not everyone will have the good intentions I believe myself to have. Or have the willingness to change. But when we start believing they are a Them and incapable of change, we're humped. And so are the younger set who have to keep cleaning up the messes we have been making on this earth.

Yes I heard about the tragedy in Arlington.
No that's not my neighborhood.
I just read up on it and I'm almost sorry I did because now I'm feeling ill.
I can't tell you how much I don't want to talk about it.

Today featured 2 houses viewed by various members of the household, and neither suiting our needs. We deployed the nopetopus and we carry on. The one I got to see is about to undergo major renovation. I flat out refuse to trust that such major work will get done within the originally stated deadline. The bones of the abode do not warrant that kind of single-minded commitment and zeal. The other was just too small.

In the  meantime, since it was the Gore Sheep Shearing Festival, I took the kid. There was junk food eaten, vendors' wears viewed, and a small menagerie of creatures seen: goats, sheep, dogs, small horses, llamas, chickens, and ducks to be precise. Crime Fighter pet his first horse and baaaaah-ed at real sheep and meeeeh-ed at real goats. It was fun!

I'm being social tomorrow, so decided that despite my excessive weariness that I'd tackle baking tonight: bread pudding and an eggless banana bread. The desserts that scream, "I have food about to go bad- let's add sugar!" The bread surplus is now at a reasonable level and no longer in danger of becoming a penicillin farm; the bananas that are too ripe to be interesting to toddlers, also transformed. This means at least the hard part's done and I don't have to fit it all in tomorrow morning.

We are about to lose Windsor Button, not because it was not well loved or well visited, but because they are losing their lease. Well, thanks to everyone flocking there, the sales at Minds Eye Yarn have plummeted in the past month to the point where the dear owner is thinking she may have to close by June if things don't turn around this coming month. We've lost a lot of good yarn stores in the last 5 years, with folks spending less and rents rising. However, I cannot stand by and watch a friend's business and a family member's job just disappear without some fighting. My word from the inside is that $20 can go a long way if enough people are giving a bit at a steady rate. So, if you're a fiber-nerd that doesn't want to resort to what's available at Michael's or AC Moore by July, you will go to Mind's Eye in and over the next week or two and show some love. Please. Pass it on- (Feel free to buy something FOR your fiber loving friend if you are not one of them.)

Exposition-
I didn't come to being very active with the regional UU group until I was independently mobile, say 17-18, or there abouts. But then I adored them, ended up going to Ohio University and it had a huge UU group, some I knew already. Like so many who graduate and move away, I did not stay active with the old UU friends or UU-ness in general. had always defaulted to more social rather than spiritual interactions with church, and when I moved to Boston had the UUs to get me through the first lonely year, but I inevitably found a differently focused social group. 

Fast-forward to last night-
I see in Facebook that a friend who is now in Boston but someone I knew from my earliest UU days had posted a picture. He'd lit a candle for another of our YRUU compatriots, A-, someone I'd not been particularly close to and had not really thought much about for the better part of 15 years. This guy's been in the hospital with a failed liver for a few weeks and there's been a ton of chatter on the YRUU group page, but thanks to my filtering and lack of attention, I never a whisper about it until last night, and now I'm catching up with my concern and just looking back. I have no idea if he'll pull out of this. He's my age, though, and really- livers should last longer than that. 

Some observations-
It's been so long since I really-really thought about my old friends and my old life, I started to doubt a bit that it was that much of a thing. But, no. They were very important to me. I'd say 80% of my friends in college were associated with the UUs. Maybe more. I went to weekly meetings, held office within the group, helped organize fundraising and events- all of it. Some people had Greek life, I had the Unitarians. My tribe. How could I lose track of something so central to my life? Why did I forget it? (she asks rhetorically, then answers pedantically)- Because life is like that. Filled with overlapping things, hopefully mostly good things. And as Robin pointed out at lunch, we can as humans only keep track of about 150 people at a time with great feeling. This feels true. Even if we had the miracles of all the current social media, not just college email accounts and the most rudimentary internet- I still might have slipped through and on.  I was filling my life with new: people, place, activities.

This is a horrible situation and I hate that someone who is still in the prime of life is struggling to breathe and make it through the day. It's scary and thinking about it very hard makes me want to hide under my desk or the equivalent thereof. However, if A- had not gotten sick, if his friends hadn't used that YRUU page on Facebook to keep the rest updated, I'd have never known, not thought about them or that time in my life. Now I am and I remember bits and pieces: how they made me feel better after years of being teased in school. They reveled in my weird. They expected weird. So, despite this bad, there is some good coming out of it. Let the universe be kind. Let A- get out of this and has several decades more.

Light a candle, think a thought, say a prayer, play a song, look at pictures, hug the hugs: whatever it is that you do when you are scared for someone and you can't do anything to intervene. And really, this isn't just for A. It's for ricevermicelli, who has been on my mind so much the last few weeks, and I can't do anything for her, either. And for the others out there, beyond my scope worrying and struggling. Love to you all. 

I was social, saw lots of people, was not overwhelmed, saw fire spinning. And I got to wear my stretchy black dress and felt purty.

Tired now. Too tired for a snack I think.

It was a great day yesterday, despite rain. Roll call starts here....
purple_terror 's mom arrived at 10 (3 hours after she left Camden), stood around, met asciikitty  (eee, surprise!) had some coffee then wondered WTF we were doing still standing around for and let's get rolling, already. She and K went off to The Unicorn to clean everything in sight. Woah. The woman is a force to be reckoned with. It set the day off to a great start, because seriously- you need MOM energy and that mom can zomg-clean. K's major task was dealing with the window screens, which had apparently never been cleaned in this lifetime and had stopped being transparent. Gross work, but aren't we glad we're doing it now so that gunk didn't settle into the house? Yeah.
fiddledragon  and her crew showed up first, took away pillows to be re-fashioned into not pillows and just about all the clothes we'd bagged up. She's happy because now there is a ton of raw material for her project. I'm thrilled because it's gone.
rintrahroars  showed up before the rain really got started and proceeded to attack my kitchen with vim and vigor.
lifecollage  arrived a bit after that and was given the challenge (and honor) of stowing quiet_elegance 's knife alter. Quote she: "there's some talky things on that table, dude." Oh, yes- aren't there? That was a task we could not delegate to many. We were both hugely grateful for her attentions.
caulay  and ahf  arrived ready to rumble and took on the donations to the vets, then dealt with the last book case, which they then took home (case not contents)- to everyone's great satisfaction.
library_sexy and zzbottom  arrived right at the transition point, took away one of quiet_elegance 's hand built cabinets he'd been using for hand tools for the last N years, but will not work in the new space: too small to contain the current collection and the new place is limited on where our stuff can be anchored to walls. It's seriously a gorgeous piece and it was killing me wondering where it ought go. I mean, really.  There's debate on the object that was the knife alter still. Hoping it's re-established in not our house within the next week, or at least decided. l_s and zz relocated to The Unicorn and helped in furniture assembly-- made a great bit of progress, too, from what I heard. Yay! Places to put STUFF.

Seriously-- I am always over the moon when things of perfectly good use and quality that have lived out their time with me then get relocated to places where they'll continued to be used.

I had enough energy to fold all the laundry and walk up to get the indian food (my turn to "cook"- it's the week of guess we're doing take out most of the time). I sat through all of Country Strong (on the strength of Gweneth Paltrow's time on Glee- clearly she can sing)- but the damage! Ohhh the damage of those characters. I had to thank q_e for us not being anything like that.  In other AV entertainment observations,  I also had fun with shows featuring pregnant people and how clearly they're not really pregnant because XYZ. Specifically, they didn't coach Angela on Bones very well on how to stand/walk as a 6 month-pregnant person. Also costume folks needed to pad her out a bit more up top. Not voluminous enough by far. Hilarity!

To sum up: this community kicks some serious ass. I'm entirely confident that the big move on Friday will be pretty painless and mostly because of the excellent work performed yesterday. I was somewhat taken aback that I actually didn't have the chance to pack anything myself because I was too busy directing one group or another. I am less likely to over-extend if I'm the director, so further serious win.

No, really- thank you. Love you guys. If I didn't feel the love and support of my community, I really do now. I lack the capacity to reply to all the comments I've gotten over the past two days.

So there's this random picture meme that popped up this afternoon and I failed my saving throw.