mizarchivist: (ESDO)
Whenever it's [livejournal.com profile] primal_pastry's birthday, it reminds me that my labor started on her birthday. We are days away from my child's birthday. I have complex emotional reactions. Excitement at the celebration, remembered anxiety of the act of labor, startlement that my child is this small human that's not so small.  This year we're combinging forces with [livejournal.com profile] woodwardiocom and [livejournal.com profile] buxom_bey since Roo's birthday is only 3 days behind Crime Fighter's. According to my conservative estimates, we're going to have about 60 people there. I'm excited and terrified by that, but mostly OK. It's easier now that The Kid is easier to contain, will likely stay where he's supposed to and not just TAKE OFF like when he was 2.

So, yeah. Maybe more introspection, but for now, have a photo montage....Cut for bandwidth. Have some pictures! )

Gulp. The progression. It makes sense. Just 2 sequential years next to each other makes sense, but in total is staggering for me.
Apr. 24th, 2016 04:36 pm

Natal day

mizarchivist: (ExecutiveEddie)
It happens to be my birthday. It's been good so far, although I've done very little to ensure that any particular thing happen. I was able to tag along on a party so I didn't have to throw one or think about anything other than showing up. And then I didn't feel compelled to greet everyone or stick around til the end. Nor was I responsible for making sure the house was free of random debris before or after. Best present ever! Jaime came with and managed to also have a good time.

Today's been chill. I got a long massage and [livejournal.com profile] fubar is making dinner. My downstairs neighbor/landlady got me a cake (she works at Quebrada) and there may *also* be sundaes to go with the cake. Because there's a place that does sundaes around the corner that's amaaaazing.

So this is 41. I think I can do this.
mizarchivist: (CrimeFighter7Wks)
I purposefully used my super-old picture of Crime Fighter from when he was 3 months old to announce I signed him up for Kindergarten in the fall this evening.
Because this is my kid.
(No, the other 2 teas are NOT his)
Nov. 5th, 2015 01:59 pm

Hi Mom

mizarchivist: (Kaylee Smiles)
I haven't been writing because it's just been too much to put my brain together, but it's been a long long slog since October 18th when I posted last about Laura-

She had been under sedation, so many things....
But today she woke up and looked at Amy and said "Hi Mom"

Cue all the tears

I can talk to her tonight. Cue more tears.

And she will be awake when I visit her the weekend of the 20th. MORE TEARS

She said "sorry" to her mom (about getting into this accident) WILL USE ALL THE TISSUES EVER

Go hug your loves again and thank the things you thank that our baby woke up and said Hi.
mizarchivist: (ESDO)
Because we can pull it off, we are pretending The Kid's birthday is tomorrow since I have to work all day today and he technically won't know the difference. But as of now, my child is 4.
mizarchivist: (ExecutiveEddie)
I'm having a good day. Manic, for sure... I am super-focused and when I start talking, I have a hard time stopping. But with all this positive energy, it's a huge rush! I suspect I'll crash out from all the expended mental energy before the end of the day, but right now it's totally worth it.

The major factor is that I had a hard interaction last night and the requisite hard conversations that were last night and again this morning. The content of that is not particularly important in this story, but what is was that I was able to express myself in the post-mortem clearly. I was able to indicate what I think went well and what I think was not healthy to the other person's choices. This is something that is monumentally hard for me to do, thanks to decades of conditioning and reinforcement.  I am not sure I have ever had such a clear-cut "victory" in using my words effectively on encouraging healthy communication and reinforcing my boundaries. My therapist (and how many of my friends? ::looks at [livejournal.com profile] lifecollage in particular::) has of course chided/encouraged me to do so, but fear won out pretty much every other time. What the fear doesn't want you to realize, is that if you actually succeed in doing the hard thing, you come out the other side feeling satisfied, vindicated... in my case today, feeling bullet-proof.

That bullet-proof translated into being excited and ready to work today. I managed to get most of this out (again, thanks to [livejournal.com profile] lifecollage who joined me for the commute in) so I didn't feel a compulsive need to write all this out first thing. So, I'm really happy with how much I've done with today. I've had unbelievably great conversations with my intern and my colleague's intern. I signed up for some professional development for June that I'm rather pleased by. I went out at lunch and bought replacement glasses. They'll look almost exactly like my old ones without the liability of being approximately 4-5 years old. Sadly, they were a bit too expensive for me to also get sunglasses at the same time. I will go to the internets for that.

Moral of the story: Don't let fear own you. When you get it right, it's really worth it on the other side of the brave thing.
mizarchivist: (Ohana means family)
I left work early because I just couldn't focus with this cold. There was a train arriving as I got to the platform, but it took most of 45 minutes or more to get to Alewife, but I can't be sure exactly because I kept falling asleep.
Then no sleep when I got home.

Dinner tonight: meat loaf and baked taters. Mac & cheese, too. Because Kid.
CrimeFighter ate everything on his plate and asked for meatloaf.
He wiped his hands when he was done.
He decided to use the potty and cleaned up after
He agreed to put things away after we said clean up
And brushed his own teeth without argument. And let there be Vicks applied to his chest... AND he said thank you.

This earned double stories and lots of praise.

Additionally, [livejournal.com profile] asciikitty (and I) got the food cooked, the dishes washed, the food put away, and the dishwasher running.

Despite being sick, I am feeling energized from all the collaborative good stuff.
mizarchivist: (If I were in animae)
Did I mention I'm turning 40 in a few months? I am.
I've put together a birthday present alternative project on GoFundMe. I'm feeling anxious now that it's done, and seeing how it goes...  So go read, and yeah, I'm gonna go hide.
mizarchivist: (FanGirl)
I was talking to Laura's mom Amy (my most long-standing friend: 38 years and counting, for those who forgot or didn't realize). We turn 40 next year. I'm April, she's July.

She has never visited me since I moved to Boston. I want to fix this. I want this to be on my birthday week(end). And given how little I need in the way of STUFF, if those of my friends feel like giving me a present next year, consider chipping in to the get-Amy-to-Boston fund. ... which has not been set up yet. Anyway- I am making note here and now for posterity, to hold myself accountable and therefore make sure this doesn't just stay a nice idea but a plan.

If this works out and we have a surplus, any extra money will go towards showing off some of Boston's finer cuisine. We can't stay in and watch old episodes of So You Think You Can Dance the whole time, right?

If all goes well, she'll fall in love with the city and really make the plan to move here with Laura and Syd ... sooner than later.
mizarchivist: (TigerFamily)
Our hero, the Crime Fighter woke up earlier than we would have liked... and horked on our bed. Snot-only. He does that. It meant he won TV time after the sheets got changed, because 5am is too soon. This activity was not documented. You are welcome.
Pictures! )
Today we had a minimalist party at the splash park. I think everyone had a good time. Even me!
mizarchivist: (TigerFamily)
Back in May 2012, Radioactive Rich (rest in peace) and Alex were clearing old kid stuff. We took their bike trailer off their hands.

And we've been using it at first occasionally, as I briefly got a behind my seat chair for the kid, then when that fell off in the great Halloween bike smooshing of '13, went with me using this trailer exclusively.

May 2012 at 9 months / July 2014 at 2 years and 8 1/2 months
 (current is not my favorite pic, but shows scale best)
These are not the droids you're looking for...

I don't wish to alarm you, but... I think I have a pre-schooler.
mizarchivist: (CrimeFighterGrins)
It's been kind of a tough week for the kiddo. He was called home early on Friday with a fever and yesterday because he was just... so... MISERABLE. So much snot. Even when he has a standard issue cold, he doesn't slow down that much, but the teachers were wigged out by how low-key the crime fighter was. So he came home after nap time. Then he stayed home with Auntie [livejournal.com profile] asciikitty while [livejournal.com profile] quiet_elegance slept. He's clearly feeling better now.

Here's the leveling up part... It's subtle but he's enunciating better today. About 90% of the time, I need him to repeat himself and things are just coming in more clearly this evening. Also, he was talking about his lost handkerchief. .... What?! I mean, he spent all day watching TV given home/sick with not remotely healthy adult(s) overseeing... Winnie the Pooh? ... huh. No. He kept digging around in the corner cupboard in the kitchen for this mythic handkerchief. I was trying to get him to go elsewhere and he said, "No, I insist." .... DO you now! You INSIST! Wow. Uh, ok. Sadly, no handkerchief. Ascii and I go find random hankies. In the meantime, he ended up crumpling a photo from my friend's walk for hunger. "Uncle can fix it!" says the kiddo with great certainty and goes to get [livejournal.com profile] fubar. Uh... Clearly the adults are missing something. We were sooo slow. But when he came out with his book, Something From Nothing about Josef and his special blanket/coat/vest/tie/handkerchief/button, whose grandfather fixes the thing that is broken.... OH. Floored. Utterly.

Anyway. I think he's ready for the preschool class next week.
mizarchivist: (Kitty takes over world)
Today was day 2 of a 3 day class for work. The class is geared for people using a markup language built for books/lit. I have gotten an intro into a markup language for archival description.Both are XML languages, and the whole point is how does one take content, run it through a stylesheet in XSLT and come out with a product (usually HTML). The similarities between the two types of XML is on par with Italian vs. Spanish. But they're talking technicalities within the language that they all can take for granted that is beyond-over my head. So, the fact that I'm getting even 50% of what's going on is sort of like some amazing bonus. I feel like I'm actually maybe getting closer to 70%, even. It's just the last segment of today was complex enough that by the time I was irretrievably lost, they had been talking about it for easily an hour, and no way I was coming back from that. Even so, I had the general idea of what the topic was trying to convey, it's just how it's executed was blargle-blargle-word-word-wah-wah-wahhhhh. Fun aside: while describing the first day to [livejournal.com profile] fubar, apparently this is a bit of tech he's not had to deal with, so maybe for the second or third time in my life, I got to explain a techie thing to him. That was an amusing and unexpected turn.

My goal for taking this class is to understand the structure and options within using style sheets so that when we start making our own from our data management software or customizing templates from other institutions, I will have the mechanics, even if I'm not going to understand all the details within elements, blah blah blah.  I will not have to turn around and immediately use this information tomorrow or even next month. We have a team with members in who're much more likely to be taking lead on whatever style sheets we go with.

With that in mind, I've been more at peace with not really getting it. Still, it's hard, and I'm grateful for the instructor who sat with me through lunch yesterday to untangle things for me, and she did a reprise this afternoon helping me at least get a few more concepts on the section that was jibberish. It's been hard not to feel like I don't deserve the extra help, because the impostor syndrome doesn't feel so much like syndrome as fact. I've been actively stopping myself from apologizing for monopolizing an instructor's time, rather I say thank you and try to believe that it's OK that I'm there. And sometimes I actually believe it. Once again, it's the internal dialog that is possibly way more valuable than the course curriculum. Those of you who have known me... ever, know or can guess that this kind of situation would not yield the relatively graceful/zen state. More like freakout.

Anyway, I hope any of that translates.  It'll have to do, I have a book to finish before bed. 
mizarchivist: (Calvin- Well adjusted)
... which of course is a load of crap. What is "normal?"
But you know what I mean, or will soon.

I keep finding little-ish things that I am able to reclaim, things I used to do that I did before a kid that better fits my internal landscape of who I think I am.

  • I've started wearing jewelry again. Not the fancy, intricate, hand-made (by me) beaded necklaces, but earrings and my more sturdy necklaces. The Kid may want to touch them, but he isn't just yanking at the shiny things. Also, he can say "Shiny," which is awesome.

  • I'm contemplating makeup. Not necessary, sure, but helps me feel more deliberate in my stylistic choices

  • ART. Guys? ART!! Clay. CLAY. CLAY! I'm sure the repetition, caps and bold would be enough for even the most unobservant that perhaps I buried the lede here. Specifically, I've started to experiment with a new jewelry notion: a toggle necklace/bracelet that uses jersey/t-shirt material as the connectors. I'm using Makume-gane style (check out this tutorial I just found. OMG, why am I not at home RIGHT NOW DOING THIS!!!). I also need to revisit how I finish the stuff.

  • Gym. Soon. As the weather gets less clement, I have plans to find a gym. Mornings are more flexible than they were once upon a time, so hopefully I can negotiate something a few days a week and do that proper cardio I've been skipping almost entirely for 2+ years.

  • Skating: I've only gone the one time. I want to do more though.

  • Hair cut. I really like the current cut. It feels very Me.

  • I must be doing well when I forget N times in a day I have therapy. Which is in 45 min. OK- I go. Bye!

mizarchivist: (Avatar- You are such a fangrrl)
And it's amazing! ... And a war zone right now.
I don't know why the very nice men who did all the moving for us brought us those extra boxes, though. I know we didn't have this much stuff before. Quite certain.

I will take pictures soon. [livejournal.com profile] asciikitty found my office box that has my camera in, so I will do that soon. Well, maybe not immediately. Maybe I'll wait til a few more things are put away. I'm glad to be at work so I can sit and rest and not unpack a box. But, half the kitchen's already done. Partially to get it out of the way, partially because it's the easiest (IMO) and will provide a sense of satisfaction when complete.  Baby gates and locks for the cabinets MUST happen today, though. OMG. The child knows how to open doors now. That happened in the week+ since we moved out of the old house. 
mizarchivist: (CrimeFighterGrins)
Well, I guess technically it was yesterday, but that was just for an hour and with [livejournal.com profile] quiet_elegance there the whole time. Today he's staying til 3. Next week he'll be there til an adult can rescue him (between 3-6). It wasn't until QE started sharpie-ing his name onto all the stuff going to school Wednesday and yesterday that I started to realize, no, really, this is a thing. So, after getting him fed and dressed, we packed up his Incredibles matching lunch box and book bag (I know, right?!), put him in the stroller and walked 'round the block. It's not easy to tell if he understands the concept of school yet, but he was happy enough to start waving to people before we even got to the building. Once in, he couldn't get out of the seat fast enough and he ran into the morning room and didn't even look back. Ooookay! Just as I expected, but... well, you know. I'm feeling my feels.
20130517FirstDaySchool (1)
Didn't I warn you? This is a KID.
I came home, took a LONG shower, scrubbed the hell out of the bathroom, continued doing laundry, and packed 3 more boxes, including the packing that involves washing dusty-gross unused kitchen stuff that's been in the basement for 2 years.  And it's not even noon.

Every one of us: [livejournal.com profile] fubar, [livejournal.com profile] quiet_elegance, and I have spent the morning being confused. What? We don't have to tiptoe? Walk carefully down the stairs, speak quietly, chase a hellion, latch the baby gate, or move all the breakables I need to pack out of harm's way.....?

mizarchivist: (Kaylee Smiles)
I went to witness the bar mitzvah for K. today! I put on my social anthropologist hat and head scarf and trucked north for the service. My last such said was my cousin's bat mitzvah in the early '90s. All I remember was the walking around with the Torah and my cousin reading, so this was essentially a new experience for me. I didn't understand 95% of what was said all morning. However, that's OK. The aspects I am carrying with me now- the magnitude, pride, happiness, and hard work. I very much like the concept of a more gradual slide into official adulthood, and having a concrete activity that requires serious study and preparation to help the adolescent Level Up (as was so aptly said today).
I'm blessed to live in a tribe that has so many threads of different traditions to add to our collective. This was probably the best, most life-affirming activity I could have had the honor of attending at this time: very healing after a solid week of chaos, fear and violence.

I was right in leaving Crime Fighter at home for the service. I got him gussied in his Flash onesie for the party, though, where he lived up to his reputation of "Fountain of Cute," to quote [livejournal.com profile] drwex. Lots of dancing, running around, and spinning.

Life Goes On. 
Dec. 12th, 2012 12:12 pm


mizarchivist: (Cancun)
It's the last time we'll see a date with 3 repetitions in our lifetime, and it happens to be [livejournal.com profile] quiet_elegance's birthday*. His only regret is that he won't be turning 36.  And because I can schedule posts, note it's on 12:12, because that's how I roll. 

Happy Birthday, lovey! 

*Normally he celebrates at his half birthday in June, but just this once, he'll acknowledge the original day.
mizarchivist: (Cancun)
It's been 14 years since [livejournal.com profile] quiet_elegance and I decided to make an official go of it.  This year he's gotten me a renewed, slightly used, but nicely broken in Commander in Chief. This is really preferable over a new one, because I don't like the OS that goes with Mittens.

Some snapshots from anniversaries past, courtesy of Live Journal:

2003-2011... )
2012- It's been an intense year of growth and challenge. Again, there's this kid. He's great and amazing and a lot of work.
My work has shifted remarkably over the past 12 months. I have a great part time office mate/colleague whom I adore. We have a development director, a new admin, and a new cataloger. The new outnumber the established and our activity is just spinning up and up and up. We have a lot to fix, though. So much growth so quickly, and we just don't have the infrastructure to deal a lot of the time. But I hope we'll get caught up and be even better for it.
And omg, Election Fatigue. I know all elections can be pretty exhausting, but this one felt extra vitriolic. I don't want to say the worst ever, because that seems unlikely. I'm hugely relieved that the president has been re-elected. I realize he's not perfect, but he will at least support (most) of the social issues that Mittens almost certainly would actively trash or allow his cronies to trash. 
[livejournal.com profile] quiet_elegance has had a rough year. We realized in April that it was most realistic for him to stay home and be the full time kid-care. He's also found that too many years of working in the field and deferring health maintenance has lead to a lot of catch up.  BTW: cortizone shots happen on 11/20. Hopefully this will be the tipping point for him. 

There's, of course, SO much more than just what I've said, but it's a snapshot. 
LOVE to my dear life partner (in crime). LOVE to everyone who voted yesterday and to our POTUS who'll be around for a few more years. LOVE to my friends and family who remind me that the world is full of wonderful people. People who like me! 
mizarchivist: (Spiffed)
I don't want to alarm anyone, but [livejournal.com profile] purple_terror's chronological determinant is again divisible by 10, as of today. There will be cake. Eventually. 
Luff luff!


mizarchivist: (Default)

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