Apr. 23rd, 2003 08:52 am
Something my neighbor said
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mizarchivistI woke up this morning and remembered one of my dreams was about my ex... someone I started dating about 10 years ago now (10 years ago next Thursday, as a matter of fact) -
Because it's almost our "anniversary", I was once again debating on writing him a letter trying to come to terms with our bad blood. I haven't been this crazy yet, mind you, but I think of it from time to time.
I was talking to Pam, my neighbor, at the bus stop this morning about having dreams about exes after all these years. When she heard where I was leading said "whatever you do, never contact old boyfriends. If a woman contacts a man after a few years, she's considered desparate, stalking [or in some way out of line]. But it's ok if a man calls a woman out of the blue."
I don't want to believe this. I want to believe that my friends and I follow a different, less biased code. But I can't convince myself. However, when it comes to this ex, I will follow that advice.
Do you, my friends, think my neighbor is right?
Because it's almost our "anniversary", I was once again debating on writing him a letter trying to come to terms with our bad blood. I haven't been this crazy yet, mind you, but I think of it from time to time.
I was talking to Pam, my neighbor, at the bus stop this morning about having dreams about exes after all these years. When she heard where I was leading said "whatever you do, never contact old boyfriends. If a woman contacts a man after a few years, she's considered desparate, stalking [or in some way out of line]. But it's ok if a man calls a woman out of the blue."
I don't want to believe this. I want to believe that my friends and I follow a different, less biased code. But I can't convince myself. However, when it comes to this ex, I will follow that advice.
Do you, my friends, think my neighbor is right?
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Speaking generally, I believe you are correct in thinking that your friends follow a less biased code.
Speaking specifically... While I agree it [contacting the ex] is something that ought to be done, I would only suggest doing it when you are emotionally prepared for a struggle. The last time I confronted him on this topic, it ended in about a stalemate, but I don't think he can shut you out the way he did me. It'll definitely be emotional, and traumatic, for both of you... like pulling a (metaphoric) knife from a wound. Hurts like hell, but you can't heal properly 'til it's done.
P.S.
>...someone I started dating about 10 years ago now (10 years ago next Thursday, as a matter of fact) -
Do you suppose he is aware of this?
SZ