mizarchivist

Please. For the love of ALL that is holy. Do not ask me to knit you anything in exchange for barter unless you have something to offer of equal value. Something that is permanent that I can keep. Offering to barter in the moment services, like massage or babysitting is never ever in a zillion quadrillion years be worth it to me. Ever. Because it will take at minimum a week, maybe two (socks/hand warmers/scarf/cowl) or a month or three (blanket or sweater). I'm either going to have to make it in advance or follow up far after the fact from the service being offered by the other party. The thing I'm going to get is going to be an hour or two of your time, possibly a few times, but very very fleeting.  And you're going to get to keep a thing that I just spent days/weeks/months working on.  This doesn't feel equitable. I am SO happy that I just figured out why I have such a visceral reaction to this suggestion.

Further, because it's not remotely obvious unless you live inside my own head-- I don't actually enjoy knitting as much as my other crafts like clay or spinning or painting. Partially because I usually have to continue knitting far beyond the point of enjoyment. I get bored 75% of the way through, which is not true for the other 3 mentioned crafts. In socks, it's right after I turn the second heel and have to keep going. Also. Often-times, it has to fit someone. Pretty much everything but a blanket or scarf requires it fitting, so ... you know. No pressure. That means I make you something it must mean I really like you. I like you for you enough to knit you a thing that may have caused me a great deal of irritation and boredom for a few hours... or a week. So, if I'm voluntarily making you a thing, that's cool! My choice, and my timeline (usually). But when you make it transactional, it removes the majority of the fun and puts 500% more pressure.

Also, insert yadda yadda links to already published articles and blogs about the chronic undervaluing of women's work over the centuries... etc.

This has been your pubic service announcement for the day! Thanks for reading.

(C&P from Facebook with several additions and edits)
Some of you may find this relevant to your own posting experience. Some of you may find this educational. I hope to spark thoughtful debate. OK, here we go:

If I post a picture of something that I have made with my own hands, particularly if I call out the degree of "I made this from scratch," please take extra care before you hit the comment button.

• Is your comment relevant to the obvious reason for posting?


• Are you someone who is familiar with what goes into this activity?


• Are we super-duper close friends where you have a good idea that your jokey comment will be heard in the way you meant it?


• Are you following Wheaton's Law?

... I realize I could have just started with the final ticky box and it sort of covers it all, but bear with me.

The context to this is that there has been a trend where one or more of those ticky box answers was "no" within my comment stream to my posts in Facebook. And given how much energy I've expended just today thinking about this, I felt it worth saying using my Out Loud Voice.
Historical context about why I'd go on about this... ( Read more... )Hey, look... this turned into a conversation about consent! Yaaai!
Very specific not-on FB context: ( Read more... )
Anyway. TL;DR: Please show some etiquette. I'm rewriting my default. I will not sit idly by if there's a lot of static on future posts. I will try to do so with thoughtfulness, which is all I want out of this in the first place.

When I was a teenager, I absolutely loved The Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley. LOVED. I read it through at least once then 3/4 of the way another 2 times between the ages of 14 and 17. So, when it came around, all 50-million hours of it, on Audible for under 6 dollars? Sure, why not. I really like Davina Porter as a narrator in books past.

Except let me tell you about how much this whole thing sucks. The premise is all about the Arthurian legend told from a female perspective, sympathetic to Druids over Christians. OK, fine- that's great except for so many things.

( I go on a bit. And also I talk about plot so... "spoilers?"  )

I suspect that I'm going to bail out of this marathon soon, given I have this rage build up every time I start listening again. 

I was watching Warehouse 13 at lunch and in it we had Dire Situation in which things are about to go critical.
( Cut for potential spoilers. )
TLDR lazy writing pisses me off. 

Ring ring!
Hello?
Hi, this is [person] from [your PCP's] office.
Hi. 
I'm here to help you schedule an appointment with our nutritionist.
Why?
Because your test results came back and you're pre-diabetic.
...
...
...
WHAT?
expurgated version: Oh, this was a surprise? - why yes it is. This is the first I've heard of it. Would you like to speak to Dr. G? Hell yes.

So the deal is that with no indication of what my base-line is, just on the chart on the wall and one glucose test, my BMI/weight/age, I have a "25% chance of getting diabetes within 5-ish years, if I do nothing with my weight." 
Despite the fact that I weigh 10 lbs less than I did last year
That he doesn't know my medical history as it has been written from a hole in the wall, as they have not yet been transferred. 
That my overweight family members have to date not gotten Diabetes
And WTF- I'm not that heavy. I would be curious to know what resource he's using to determine this outcome. 

My answer to Dr. G was that it's the most stressful year of my life. I am not remotely concerned about this outcome at this time. I do not have the luxury of doing a lot of the things I'd like to do right now, but that this will change really and for true when some factors out of my control are different. But for now, it's just not going to happen. It is what it is and I think I'm doing quite well under the circumstances. Next year. We'll see. After he knows me and my charts better.

(but really... what does he think I should weigh? If it's the fucking BMI.... well, we need to have words. )

ETA: From the Doctor since I wrote last...

"In regards to BMI, I completely agree that it is not a very accurate determination of healthy weight but a rough tool that should prompt us to take a more comprehensive look into health/fitness. I look forward to getting toknow you more as a patient and a person. Regards, Dr. G"  

So, he still hasn't addressed the issue of what caused him to make this deduction. I've emailed back with the request he elaborate. If it's weight, what does he feel would be a safer weight. If something else, what. If a combination, what. We shall see. I'm feeling somewhat mollified after he agreed about BMI, but his first impression is radically marred. I will not be blindly following his suggestions, but then again it's not a good idea to do so anyway.

ETA 2: " Hemoglobin A1C is slightly elevated. A level between 5.7-6.4%" ... OK. So it's that. 

Hi, new mom here.
I'm feeling sort of raw and figuring my shit out still.

Things I need to figure out how to do-

Not have more than about 1 visitor/day. I get worn out really easily. My ideal visiting times are between 10:30a-2p--- Really a tough window. That window because quiet_elegance is working 5:30a-2p, comes home at 2:30 and is exhausted, dirty and starved.  Oh, he came home with a broken toe today. Stupid fucking drywall. Nothing to be done for it, but his pain levels really didn't need this on top of everything else.
 
Given QE's schedule, I'm on duty 80-90% of the time, mostly because I'm the food source and introducing bottles at this stage is not ideal for Crime Fighter. We'll have to find a better equilibrium eventually, but in the meantime, I'm the go-to, particularly for the night shift.  I'm feeling trapped but my hind-brain is in charge, so can't let the cub out of my sight without it being a serious stress for more than an hour or so (hi, feeding times?) - I realize I have to get used to it, but it seems damn early yet.

No really, discharge papers say: don't drive. I proved that to be true this evening when riding in the back of the mini van brought me to tears from the pot holes. Clearly driving is a shitty idea... but in 2 weeks? Maybe not.

In a few weeks, I'm going to have to start thinking about who'll be watching Crime Figther come November. I can't think about this yet. It's too early. QE's work schedule is the factor still. He's back to work this week after 2 weeks off and he starts teaching union classes next week (M and Thu nights) - both good things and means we can start banking it. The "paternity leave" weeks will be paid... in a month thanks to the delays in unemployment.

In the meantime, my days feel the same: long and then gone and here I am, in the middle of the night and on my own with this child. It's boot camp, I suppose. I feel like I'm doing well enough, but it's tough being sequestered on the first floor, out of my bed and away from my husband for the 3rd week now and until I can carry the child up and down the stairs without being so aware of my incision, I remain here. ... mind you, I've got a routine down here. I will have to figure everything out all over again when I shift upstairs.

OK. At least now I'm sort of tired. Maybe I can fall asleep now that much of that is out of my head.

Reading comprehension is SO desirable. I cannot stress this enough.

What's your current pet peeve of the day/week/lifetime? (pick one time frame that fits for this query)

ETA: person who offended me is now offending me further by quibbling over the cost of service he has requested. $3 vs $1 ... Really?!  I have things I am not willing to commit to a public forum that I'd like to say on this point.

It'd been a very long while since I went to Bollywood dance. I signed up for a drop-in for tonight through the website, and yet- when I got to the studio, I got The Look. You know, the one that you get when you're not expected. In this case, because there is no more Bollywood class. However, the Wunderkinder didn't think to disable the bit where people can sign up for the non-existent class. Nor did they think to look to see if anyone signed up over the course of 12-13 hours. Again- I should have called first. How foolish of me to expect them to act like a legitimate business. (Yes, I'm getting a refund for tonight.)
I grudgingly went tonight as a one last chance/need to blow off steam and instead had my trust smashed all to hell and added steam. Dammit. I really liked going there. Before.
Dexter Morgan will soothe me. No- he really won't. Last week's episode was filled with nail-biting and squeaks of startlement.
So, skating it is then. 12/2, Pygment?

Look! badlittlemonkey  made me a new icon. Further provenance: primal_pastry  braided my hair at mzkero 's a few weeks ago and blm was kind enough to document for me.

Ok, and now the general and painfully obvious statement: I'm a word snob. I consider this to be a positive quality, but it does make for some rankling these days. I will abuse the language a bit with various lol-cat or text abbreviations, but it's almost always for humor's sake/with irony. The thing is, I think just about everyone who bothers to read this doesn't do this, but--- for the love of all the gods! If you want to make a good first impression, please use proper grammar and spelling. Even if it's just a new potential friend. Nothing turns me off faster than a casual "ur."
OK? OK. They tell me deep breaths help right about now.

I got home 'round 1am and then realized exactly how much coffee I'd had after dinner. Hah. Sleep eventually and then WOKE UP at 8:30 with the memory of work's domain not working during my presentation yesterday. No, really true. All that stuff this spring to sort out domain red tape - consolidate into one- so we could stop paying multiple providers, maybe not working out as well as all that, or something. I babble. Trust me, I smell a rat. And I'm off this whole week and I'm sort of the lynch pin in this sorting process.

But I'm home.