Hi, new mom here.
I'm feeling sort of raw and figuring my shit out still.
Things I need to figure out how to do-
Not have more than about 1 visitor/day. I get worn out really easily. My ideal visiting times are between 10:30a-2p--- Really a tough window. That window because quiet_elegance
is working 5:30a-2p, comes home at 2:30 and is exhausted, dirty and starved. Oh, he came home with a broken toe today. Stupid fucking drywall. Nothing to be done for it, but his pain levels really didn't need this on top of everything else.
Given QE's schedule, I'm on duty 80-90% of the time, mostly because I'm the food source and introducing bottles at this stage is not ideal for Crime Fighter. We'll have to find a better equilibrium eventually, but in the meantime, I'm the go-to, particularly for the night shift. I'm feeling trapped but my hind-brain is in charge, so can't let the cub out of my sight without it being a serious stress for more than an hour or so (hi, feeding times?) - I realize I have to get used to it, but it seems damn early yet.
No really, discharge papers say: don't drive. I proved that to be true this evening when riding in the back of the mini van brought me to tears from the pot holes. Clearly driving is a shitty idea... but in 2 weeks? Maybe not.
In a few weeks, I'm going to have to start thinking about who'll be watching Crime Figther come November. I can't think about this yet. It's too early. QE's work schedule is the factor still. He's back to work this week after 2 weeks off and he starts teaching union classes next week (M and Thu nights) - both good things and means we can start banking it. The "paternity leave" weeks will be paid... in a month thanks to the delays in unemployment.
In the meantime, my days feel the same: long and then gone and here I am, in the middle of the night and on my own with this child. It's boot camp, I suppose. I feel like I'm doing well enough, but it's tough being sequestered on the first floor, out of my bed and away from my husband for the 3rd week now and until I can carry the child up and down the stairs without being so aware of my incision, I remain here. ... mind you, I've got a routine down here. I will have to figure everything out all over again when I shift upstairs.
OK. At least now I'm sort of tired. Maybe I can fall asleep now that much of that is out of my head.